The Greer Family

Pink Birthday Party

2012-01-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

Carrie's been so excited for yesterday to come..... Her PINK birthday party!!

It was her first friends party and all week she's been asking if it was time for her party yet. It was adorable :) The week would have been better if I hadn't been stuck on the couch with the worst cold of my life, but fortunately I felt better just in time to actually throw a decent party. And bake an AWESOME cake! Withsome help of course! (The towers are made from rice krispie treats)

We decided to run with the pink theme a little and add a Princess theme in there too. So when all the kids came we had them decorate their royal crowns with crayons and sparkly foam flower stickers.

Princess Carrie wore several crowns throughout the day ;)

Even baby cousin Isac got a prince crown

This might be a good time to add that I certainly didn't throw this party on my own. Because of my wicked cold, my sister came to my house Friday morning to take care of me and my house. Her husband works with Justin, so they carpooled home together and my parents came around dinner time. My dad had to go home for work, but the rest of them stayed overnight. So I had Justin, my sister Marissa, Bro-in-law Brandon, AND my mom helping/doing everything at the party.

This is pretty much the extent of my decorations... I don't even know that Carrie noticed, but I was proud of myself anyways considering my state of non-health.

Oh yeah, and tons of pink balloons all over the family room

You'll notice in this picture, Carrie is actually wearing two crowns at once. A true princess indeed...

It seems I didn't get any pictures of our next activity, necklace making. We had colorful shoe laces and a random bucket of beads for all the kids to string on. Luckily we had a lot of adults there because we discovered that shoe-string necklaces are not the easiest thing for three year olds to make on their own. They turned out cute though and the kids loved them.

Next we sang to the birthday girl and her pink princess castle cake. It was a shame to cut into it... At least it tasted good :)

Last, but certainly not least, we did the pinata shaped like a giant crown. Justin figured since the kids were so short, he'd just hold it up instead of hanging it. There were a couple close calls when we got some serious bat swingers, but for the most part, not too dangerous.

It turns out that 3 year olds aren't strong enough to break a pinata on their own, so daddy came to the rescue!

It was such a great party that one of Carrie's little prince friends wiped out for a nap before it even ended!

Uncle Boo-boo enjoyed wearing the pinata crown....

Later that night we went out with our good friend Corynn to celebrate her birthday. (sadly, her hubby couldn't get work off) But there were plenty of other good friends to go bowling with! During our last game of bowling we decided to be goofy and bowl in different silly ways. This look is from the middle of Corynn's slow-motion-baywatch-run-bowl... :)

It was fun to have some grown-up fun time after an afternoon full of three year olds!! Although the three year olds were certainly entertaining! Overall, a fantastic day!

Toy Story 3 on Ice!

2012-01-19T14:04:00.000-08:00

On a bit of a whim, we bought tickets to go see Toy Story 3 on Ice last night! We knew it was going to be a long late night, so I tried to get Carrie to nap in the afternoon.... Yeah right... After a late afternoon snack, we headed up into town and parked to ride the lightrail into Phoenix. I was excited. I know lots of people ride metros, subways and lightrails all the time, but for me, it's a little treat and usually means we're heading into see a baseball game, a concert, or something like that. So I still get a little giddy. :)

A few minutes before we got to the lightrail parking lot I turned and saw Carrie totally asleep in her carseat... I was a bit worried about how the rest of our late night might go...

But the second she heard the lightrail pull up, she was awake and as excited as me!

Once we got to the show we went to the souvenir stand. Though we were there to see Toy Story and there were plenty of Toy Story themed toys she could have chosen, she chose a Minnie Mouse doll instead. At least she's happy about it!

We got concession stand hotdogs for dinner. Yummy! Much to my disappointment, cotton candy was only being sold by the guys who walk through the crowd and we didn't have any cash. I was really looking forward to it... :(

We were surprised when Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, and Donald Duck showed up to open the show!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head with the army men

Jessie and Bullseye (who I'm pretty sure is two different people on ice skates working together- amazing!

Woody and the crew putting on a show!

The crane-machine aliens dancing with Buzz Lightyear!

A couple of rows in front of us was a very good sport of a dad who came dressed up as Woody and was more than happy to pose with several children during intermission! Carrie loved it!

Ken and Barbie were a ton of fun to watch!

By the time we got on the train after the show it was 10pm. And we were all super tired! Especially since we'd been fighting colds all week. We got lucky and found a spot where we could lean back and snuggle for the long ride home.

We had a lot of fun celebrating an early birthday present with our almost three-year-old. :)

Checking in on the Little One

2012-01-13T13:44:00.000-08:00

I had my regular doctor's appointment yesterday and let me tell you... I was nervous.... At this appointment last pregnancy, we found out I had miscarried. It was making me antsy all day. We didn't have an ultrasound scheduled or anything, so we just went in, did the normal weight, blood pressure, pee in a cup.... and waited to see the NP. When she came in she said something to the effect of, "Well, everything looks good, we'll see you next time"

That was not cool with me... I asked if we were going to do the doppler or anything. She thought the MA had already done that, but apparently, they're not "supposed" to until 12 weeks. I was 11 weeks and 5 days. REALLY?! They were ready to let me leave the office without checking on the baby at all! Grrrr..... Suffice it to say, I was perturbed. So the NP went to get the doppler. After several minutes and still not being able to find the baby's heartbeat (just because it was too small to catch on a doppler), I requested an ultrasound. There was no way I was going to just wait another 4 weeks to check in on the baby.

Luckily, the ultrasound tech hadn't left for the day yet, so we were the last patient squeaked in. I could hear the confused ultrasound tech asking the NP and MA outside my room asking why she was doing this ultrasound and what she should write on my chart. I didn't hear what the NP answered, but a second later when the tech knocked on our door to take us to ultrasound, I told her, "You can just write 'paranoid' on my chart" We all laughed, but it's true. I've been especially paranoid this whole pregnancy, as I surely hope can be understood...

To our relief and delight, the baby is completely healthy! It's the right size with a strong, wonderful heartbeat. It measured a few days behind, but it did last time too, and as we've found so far, our babies usually measure a tad on the small side, so there was nothing to worry about :) So baby #3, here's to you! Keep up the good work! We want to bring you home this summer!

Wiped Out Early

2012-01-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

It's only 6:00.... Looks like we've got a TIRED girl on our hands... Early bedtime anyone?

Celebrating Our Angel

2012-01-08T10:05:00.000-08:00

We started off celebrating Brigham's birthday yesterday with pancakes. Pink pancakes... per Carrie's request. We figured, why not? Brigham can't make a color request, so we'll let Carrie decide for him. :)

Then we headed up into town and went to the cemetery. Carrie never stays in one place when we visit there, but it's cute. She wanted to put a couple of Brigham's flowers on another grave ;)

Uncle Jake helped distract her by walking on the wall

Our two sweet kiddos. Carrie being goofy, of course

Family photo op

Extended family. It was nice to have my family close by to celebrate with us. They brought the birthday hats, cute huh?!

Some balloons for our birthday boy

We ended our evening by going out to Texas Roadhouse. Carrie still wanted to wear her birthday hat. Our waitress mistook that it meant it was Carrie's birthday, so she got to sit on the saddle and get a birthday "Yee-haw!" from the whole restaurant.

We had a wonderful day celebrating our sweet angel's birthday. I'd worried it would be a very hard day. But then Justin helped me realize I was headed for a bit of self fulfilling prophecy. If I was expecting to have a bad day, I was going to. If I could choose to be happy, it would be a happy day of memories and celebration. So with the help of Justin's wonderful outlook, we had a great day.

We did have a good cry right before bed when we watched our little slideshow of Brigham's pictures that played at his funeral. But there's certainly nothing wrong with crying and missing our boy. We're so glad he's a part of our family for all eternity.

One Year...

2012-01-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

One year ago, our lives changed forever... Our sweet son Brigham came into this world for a spiritually filled, adventure packed, stressful, wonderful, 20 days. Happy Birthday sweet boy!

Watching Daddy Work

2011-12-30T15:57:00.000-08:00

Justin had a couple holiday tournament games at the local high school last night so we tagged along to watch. At first it was all very exciting, lots to look at etc....

But that lasted about two minutes. After that, she spent the whole time running down the battery on my phone playing her new favorite games, puzzles, and dot-to-dot.

I had fun watching Justin ref and it's always fun not to care who wins the game. That way you can just cheer for the good plays, not necessarily one team or another. :)

Best Present Ever!

2011-12-25T18:44:00.000-08:00

Are you ready for the best present ever? So good, it needed its own separate post?.... And no, I'm not talking about the dollhouse again.... Instead, I have something even better....

Wait for it....

....................

....................

WE'RE PREGNANT AGAIN!!!!! (and the teeny circle is the yolk sac, not a second baby; the pinto bean sized smudge is the baby) ;)

We found out on Thanksgiving and let me tell you, this has been the longest four weeks EVER! It's the longest we've ever waited to tell (although we did tell a select few people early), but still! We knew it would make the perfect Christmas gift for our families and I'm so proud of us for making it all the way until Christmas!

To tell them, we skyped with Justin's family and Justin asked them "You got our Christmas card right? Well.... it's already out of date..." They were quick to catch on and were so excited for us. My mom (who is too attentive sometimes) figured it out on her own a couple weeks early, but promised to keep it a secret from my dad. We gave him a card that said something like "A new little lamb to love, congrats on the newest little addition to your family" and put an ultrasound picture inside. His reaction was priceless. He immediately started crying and lunged over to give me a huge hug. It was pretty awesome.

So there you go! I'm due July 28th which makes me 9 weeks right now. So far the last couple weeks I've been sicker than I ever have before (probably sicker than with all other pregnancies combined). It at least gives me some confidence that all is well in there and we'll get to bring this little baby home!

Christmas Morning!

2011-12-25T12:07:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year was with my family. We went to the movies on Christmas Eve and were going to see "The Muppets", but it was sold out by the time we got there so we saw "We Bought a Zoo" instead. Awesome, fun family movie. If you haven't seen it yet, I'd recommend it. We ate our big Dinner, buffet and paper plate style (that's how we roll) and played our traditional White Elephant gift exchange game with our good friends/family/neighbors. We ended up with a mini gumball machine, a ping-pong-like ball shooter, and honestly, I can't remember what the third thing was. The point is, at the end, everyone trades and plays with each others gifts anyways. It was fun.

After the kids went to bed, we played Bingo. My parents had bought an actual little set, complete with Bingo ball spinner cage. They bought ten prizes, so we played ten rounds. Justin and I scored two movie passes, a collage picture frame and a couple movies from the $5 bin. We could've gotten more, but my parents put a two win limit per person, so we got shorted ;)

Sunday morning we got all dressed up for church. At 8am.... Yuck.... But, it was a beautiful way to start off Christmas morning. Isac, Carrie, and Rose all cute and festive for church.
I was one of 6 "alumni" who have since moved out of the ward, but usually return for the Christmas musical program. I'm pretty sure my parents' ward will never be beat when it comes to that program. There was something like 35 choir members, 1 piano, 7 violins, 5 cellos, 2 bass, and 3 handbells.... The entire sacrament meeting consists of a narraration and well-orchestrated choir numbers. It's awesome. That's why so many of us come back to play with them every year. Though my fingers are often sore afterwards from my once-a-year meeting with my cello, it's always a delight.

Then it was back home to enjoy fruit and creme filled pastries and breakfast casserole. Carrie enjoyed hers at her new IKEA table from her Nana and Papa. She loves it already!

Since we'd gotten up so early to go to church, most of us changed back into pajamas afterwards to open presents and lounge around. My brother Jake got Spongebob pajamas from my parents on Christmas eve. Very bright yellow pants... And he thought it would be a good idea to pair them with a neon yellow shirt. He was quite a bright guy all day!

After breakfast, it was finally time to open presents. And Carrie had been eyeing the "biiiiggg green one" all morning.

Trying to rip away the wrapping...

It's her brand new, custom-made dollhouse!!!

I would say I'm more excited about it than her, but she very well may prove me wrong. She didn't want to open anything else. She played with it for a solid hour before she even turned to see about her other gifts.

It was very difficult, for example, to get her to step away long enough to wrangle up her stuff to take a picture! As soon as I took this, she grabbed everything out of the dollhouse and started playing again!

The after-Christmas tornado.... We like to call her Carrie...

A few things about this new dollhouse. You'll notice I said custom-made... With some serious help from my dad, we built this dollhouse just for her! In a week... it was crazy! My parents had built one for me and my sister when we were little and they still have it today. Carrie recently started showing interest in it and I couldn't think of a better idea for a gift for her.

Honestly, it ended up being made about 75% by my dad, 20% by me, and 5% by Justin. If you look closely, you'll find that it's modeled after our own house. Yellow paint, brown sectional, flat screen "TV" (which you can't see from this angle), switchback stairs, pink bedroom, and a blue couch in the loft that has an open railing to the first floor. Awesome right? The little "attic" with ladder was a bit of an afterthought from my dad. Definitely a good addition though. It's almost 4 feet square and takes two men to lift. And just in case that doesn't make enough of a point of how big it is....

High School Flashback

2011-12-23T17:48:00.000-08:00

My best friend from high school, Elise (Morrell) Crane, was smart enough to coordinate a friends reunion over Christmas break when many now out-of-staters, would be home. We had a lot of fun. Munched on veggies and cheetos, watched our kids play with each other and talked, talked, talked.

Justin was nice enough to cart around a few of the kids in a wagon. They had a blast. What a cool husband I have! In this case, more like what a cool daddy Carrie has!

Shea, Carrie, Carson, & Claire. Not all the kids, but most that were there.

Carrie and Shea are the closest in age and they used to play with each other often while Shea's mom Chelsea babysat for me during my frequent visits to the specialist during Brigham's pregnancy. They discovered the four HUGE trees in Elise's parents' front yard and had a blast throwing the fallen leaves in the air; With help from Elise's husband Joel....

Such cute little pigtail buddies

My favorite picture from the day.... I clicked it about half a second before I meant to, and caught this gem. Joel's strange mid-run position plus the still-in-a-pile leaves hanging over Carrie's head leave me laughing out loud. I love it!

Sadly as I was going through pictures to post this, I realized I didn't get ANY pictures of me and my high school buddies! How lame! At least I have memories, I guess. Next time, I'll make sure we snap a picture though!

Gingerbread, Grandma, & Santa

2011-12-17T17:11:00.000-08:00

Last night my mom came to hang out and have a sleepover with Carrie. She brought all the fixings to make graham cracker "gingerbread" houses. Better her than me. I didn't want to deal with the mess. Does that make me a bad mom?.... Don't answer that.... Anyways, I snapped a couple pictures of them near the beginning and then I was off to help decorate Santa's corner for our ward party in the morning.

By the time I got back they'd created a masterpiece!! And apparently giggled a lot!

Tah Dah!! This is now the beautiful centerpiece of our kitchen island :)

She was definitely in a silly mood though. Maybe they ate more sugar than they decorated with.... She ended up crawling under the table and making her posed "grumpy face", which I think looks hilariously close to Zoolander's "Blue Steel"....

In the morning, it was off to have Breakfast with Santa! I made two breakfast casseroles and a big pan of cinnamon rolls to contribute to the pot-luck. Justin had to work, so he missed it and we missed him... But, the food and program were great and Santa was a hit! Carrie's been talking about him for a few weeks now. She was really excited to sit on his lap and tell him she wanted a pink candy cane for Christmas. If only it were that easy.... ;)

Random Days

2011-12-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

In super exciting news, Carrie started potty training again yesterday and this time it's sticking! Finally!! I've tried two or three times before, and she just wasn't ready. She'd get it sometimes, but in reality, I was the one who was trained, not her....

Yesterday morning, however, a few minutes after changing her morning diaper she came in and said, with a very concerned look, "Mommy, I went pee-pee!" I changed her out of her wet diaper, but then she said she didn't want a new one. So I let her go around naked for a couple hours. When she didn't have any accidents, I thought, "Hmmm, maybe I'll try it again...." We put her in panties and she just totally got it!! It's been awesome! So much better than the times we've tried before!! So now the highlight of our day is sparkly stickers on her potty chart. :)

And now for a few random pictures:

Carrie has decided that the lazy susan makes a great place to store her toys lately... I often reach in to grab something for dinner and end up with a My Little Pony in my hand....

The other day before bedtime we were finishing an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and when Justin sat down on the bed, Carrie jumped over and snuggled right into the crook of his arm. She made sure she was as snuggly as she could get. It was too cute not to snap a picture of!

And I know this makes us look lame compared to most people who live in snow and ice in December, but winter is winter! I know it's only 50 degrees, but we're freezing! To us, this is as bad as a sub zero blizzard! So this is what Carrie looks like when she goes outside to play!

Perfection Obsession

2011-12-04T13:21:00.000-08:00

I usually decorate the tree by myself because Justin knows I'm SUPER particular about it. He'll help me get out the box and put the pieces together, but then he sits back and watches for the next couple hours while I do my perfectionist work.

This year Carrie wanted to help... When we first got married and had our first Christmas tree, I went out and bought full sets of matching gold and red ornaments; Matching tree skirt and all. We have a few random ornaments that I either don't put on, or hang on the back because they don't match...

Carrie pulled a couple out of the box and wanted to hang them up. So for the first time in 6 years, I gave in and broke my obsession with perfection. Kind of.... I said to myself, 'ok fine, we'll put non matchy ornaments on too'. Except because we only had a few, I decided we needed to make more homemade ornaments so it would be balanced with the matchy ones. I decided to turn it into a fun-filled mommy/daughter project, but shortly after I started I realized a not quite 3 year old isn't all that interested in molding clay into stars, folding paper into cubes with pictures, or making layered felt snowflakes.... She did like to help paint the pinecone; Pink of course :)

Other than that, she colored for a couple minutes then left the table to play while I made a monstrous mess with crafty things and lots and lots of glue gunning.... The results were -Brigham picture cube - Yarn flower - baby Jesus in the manger - felt bird - 2d paper ornament shapes - felt ornament - felt snowflake - red chile peppers - three mini wreaths - clay star of Bethlehem - Carrie handprint Santa face - pink glittery pinecone..... etc....

Add those to our few random ones we already had and our tree is now uniformly matchy with gold and red ornaments, and uniformly unmatchy with plenty of fun random homemade ornaments. Only I could make unperfection have a perfectionist element....

The Grinch Comes and Goes

2011-12-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

Setting up the Christmas decorations is supposed to be fun, happy, put you in the Christmas Spirit right?.... Well it didn't work for me. I turned into a mega Grinch for a couple days while our house was in the mess that is setting up Christmas. First of all, we had to empty out the under-the-stairs closet to get to all the Christmas boxes way in the back. So the Family room was full of Christmas boxes and the Living room was full of all the other boxes from the closet. It was a mess!!

We had inherited a new taller fuller Christmas tree from my parents last year and I was so excited to get it set up, but when we pulled it out of the box, it didn't have a stand! I was antsy to get a tree up, so I decided we'd just set up our old one, it's not all the different.... Wrong again. Once I got it set up, I was so disappointed! It looked like Charlie Brown's tree! :( So because I'm crazy like that, I went to walmart, bought a new stand, set up the new tree, and transferred all the ornaments over. I decorated two trees....

Wait, make that three trees.... When I went to buy the tree stand, I saw this cute little two foot tree and thought Carrie would love having her own. And she did :)

Luckily for everyone who had to be around me, the Christmas mess-induced Grinch in me left the moment everything finally got decorated, boxes packed up and away, and the room freshly vacuumed! THIS is what Christmas spirit is supposed to feel like!!

At the beginning of the Christmas season last year, we owned one nativity scene. and the whole teeny scene fit on the palm of my hand. Over the course of gift giving and receiving last year, our nativity collection grew to add four more!

I'm feeling much more Christmasy now!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving trip to New Mexico to be with Justin's family. We drove seven hours on Wednesday to get to his sister Danielle's house. We'd had a lazy morning, including Carrie eating only marshmallows picked out of her cereal bowl, thanks to Grandpa Mark ;) She didn't really eat lunch, just drank her Capri Sun... We grabbed some cheetos and gummy bears at a gas station along the way.... You'd think we should have been expecting it, but we were still surprised when about 20 minutes before we got there, Carrie suddenly started throwing up... All over the carseat....

I considered it lucky that we were so close to Danielle's house. I stripped Carrie down, wiped her off with wipes, put her jacket underneath her and a thin blanket between her and the nasty wet seatbelt straps and toughed it out until we got there. Then started a load of laundry.... Of course. Fortunately, I think it was just the sugar. It didn't happen again. Phew!

On Thanksgiving Day, Danielle was bustling around making dinner (while I sat on the couch.... what a mooch huh?) I guess it wasn't getting done quite fast enough for Carrie though. She snagged a roll off the table about half hour early ;)

The meal was delicious, the company was fantastic, and the football on TV was loud.... We had fun. So much fun, in fact, that Carrie fell asleep about 5:30 watching a movie. When I tried to pick her up so she would wake up (so she would sleep at bedtime), it didn't work.... She was still zonked out. So I enjoyed about 45 minutes of snuggly time with my non-snuggly girl. It was awesome.

I braved WalMart at 10:00 by myself to snag a few little kid board games. I was in and out in 20 minutes. And I'm soooo glad. It was crazy in there!

Friday we headed down to Justin's parents' house (about an hour from his sister's). We went out for enchilada's for his dad's birthday, and I wimped out and got bean and cheese sopapillas with my green chile on the side.... What can I say, I have a weak palate....

Saturday morning we met with a guy Justin's dad knows who refurbishes laptops. And we scored big time! We got a very nice laptop, new to us, for $450. We'd been looking to buy one soon anyways, but we saved ourselves about $300 from our original "budget". Take that Black Friday deals! :P

Then the boys went golfing and the girls went shopping at the local outlet store and played at the park. We threw probably a hundred teeny rocks (pebbles, really) into the Rio Grande. Nana had told Carrie if we went down by the river, we might see some ducks. As we started to look for them, she started yelling out, "Duckies! Duckies!!", then turned to look at me really quick and asked, "Wait a minute! Is it your ducky or my ducky?"

It was hilarious. :) And I didn't know where she had gotten it until I heard her watching Finding Nemo today. Dory and Nemo are yelling, "Dad! Dad!" when Dory stops and asks, "Wait a minute, is it your dad or my dad?".... She's always loved that movie....

Anyways, I made some delicious chocolate cake muffins with glaze (baked, not fried) and we all pigged out. Pizza and Root Beer for dinner and a couple of board games before hitting the sack.
Carrie watched movies almost the entire time on her own little personal 19" TV with built in VCR. She's started to love the movies we grew up with. Pocahontas, The Lion King, Cinderella, Aladdin.... I love it, because I already know all the songs and can quote most of the lines. It's fun to reminisce :)

The driving was long, but we had fun. It was totally worth it! We don't see Justin's family nearly as often as mine just because they live further away, so it's always good to see them when we can. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are constantly reminded of how much we have to be Thankful for. What a wonderful life we live!

Wannabe Park

2011-11-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

Not it's not a park named after ancient Indians or anything... It's Wanna-be. As in, not quite there... But for now it works. Here's our wannabe park!
Lumpy dirt in the playground, no landscape rock, empty garden, and splotchy grass..... But Carrie loves it anyways. Someday it'll be a full fledged children's wonderland! ;)

Train Park Party

2011-11-19T10:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Carrie and I were invited to her friend Jake's Birthday Party at the train park in Chandler. We had a ton of fun! The kids ran around on the HUGE playground for a while...

And then it was time to ride the train! Doesn't she look excited?!

First she did the cheesy face and then she did her new favorite, the fake grumpy pout... Looks like Blue Steel to me...

Once the train got going though, there was no stopping the smiles!

We got to ride the carousel a couple times too, woohoo!

We finished up the party with pizza, cupcakes, one last train ride, and more playing before she had to literally be carried off the playground. Sadly, I didn't get a picture of her with the birthday boy :( We had a lot of fun though! Thanks for inviting us to your birthday party Jake! Or, should I say, Jake's parents! ;)

Too Many Funerals

2011-11-17T15:05:00.000-08:00

Today I attended my 5th Funeral of the year. Fifth....

Our 20 day old son Brigham,
His 18 day old NICU friend, Alana Larson,
A 16 year old girl from my home ward, Kelsey Preston,
My 80 year old Grandpa Daryl Rogers,
And a 24 year old friend from High School, Spencer Webster....
Does anyone else see a sickening trend in the age of these funeral "hosts"? Four of the five were just plain too young.... I'm all funeraled out. I hope we don't have more for a loooong while. Heaven must be starting to get full. Maybe it would be a good idea to send some more spirits down to Earth.... Our family would willingly take one right now ;)

The Baby Tree

2011-11-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

I love the little things Carrie does and says. Yesterday she ran over to me and said, "Mommy, watch me do a cool trick." She then proceeded to do a little skip-hop, and a very lopsided forward roll. And she was SOOO proud. She had been practicing in the other room until she got it just like she wanted and then was so excited to show it off to me. Over and over... :)

Today was the kicker though... I can't remember how it came up, but she said something like, "Mommy, we need a new baby."

I, of course, quickly agreed with her and said, "Wouldn't that be so fun?"

She thought for a second and said, "Let's go plant the seeds and make a baby tree grow and we can get a new baby!!!"

Ohhhh, if only it were that easy.... ;) I've heard of kids believing in the money tree before, but never the baby tree.... Looks like the simplified version of the "where babies come from" talk is in order. ;)

Numbers

2011-11-11T20:48:00.000-08:00

Grandpa Daryl passed away today. 11-11-11, at 1:11 pm. Apparently he always had a thing for numbers.

Some of us joked that he wanted to make sure we'd remember what day he died, so he waited three and a half days in a coma until 11-11-11. Another little joke in the family was that he "tried to die" two hours earlier (at 11:11), but then he heard someone say, "Oh, 11:11 is over, it's 11:12....", so he held on for a little longer. :)

It's sad to see him go, but we know he's free from all his pain and is truly living in paradise with loving family members who have gone on before.

Sprouts!!

2011-11-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

Our backyard grass is growing!!! Finally!!! We planted the seed on Halloween and we were starting to wonder if we'd done something wrong because it wasn't sprouting up at all.... But yesterday, Justin noticed one teeny little spot of sprouts, and then when we looked more closely, we found teeny little sprouts all over the place! I had to crawl on hands and knees around the border to find it though.

Today there are parts that look like this! Woohoo!!

Our only problem now, is the birds... I knew I should have been watching out for them since we laid the seed, but I really hadn't seen any until yesterday. Now they're everywhere! Luckily, Carrie likes to play outside and so far, her presence alone has been enough to deter them. And if it's not, she's more than happy to clap her hands and shout, "Hey birdies! Go away! Don't eat my baby grass!!" (A phrase coined by Justin while teaching her not to walk on the grass. "It's only baby grass, and we need to not step on it so it can grow big and strong." Cute huh?!)

The problem comes when she wants to come inside... The birds are watching and waiting for her to leave... So at Justin's suggestion, Carrie and I built a scarecrow this morning...

Carrie helping me build up muddy dirt support piles for the posts.

Tah-dah! Two stakes, a t-shirt, and a broom.... It's actually very wavy and mobile when the wind blows.... I hope it works....

While I was "building" the scarecrow, I asked Carrie if she could come help me hold the posts for a second. She looked at me, sighed, and said, "Mommy, I'm working on my cub scouts, I'll be there in a minute ok?"..... Think she's heard that too much lately?

And just because, a few pictures of Carrie covered in chalk. Sidewalk chalk has been her new best friend since the weather's cooled off. Fortunately it wipes off easily! ;)

Visiting Grandpa Daryl

2011-11-09T09:20:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning I got a text from my dad saying my Grandpa Daryl (pronounced like Carl) was in the hospital. He'd suffered a major brain hemorrhage and they didn't know if he would make it through the day. My aunt said he was laughing and joking with them the night before, but when morning came, she couldn't wake him up. He was still breathing on his own, but his brain had received enough damage to keep him in a persistent state of sleep. He's basically in a coma.

By the afternoon, they transferred him from the hospital to a hospice center nearby. When Justin got home from work, we went to visit him and say goodbye.

He'll respond a teensy bit sometimes like slurping his tongue a bit when we give him a drink of water from his "lollipop", aka, wet sponge on a stick. (Anyone else having Brigham flashbacks?)

My grandparents had 9 kids (apparently the joke my grandpa always used to say was that he had 3 & 1/2 dozen kids... 3 girls, and a half dozen boys) They're ALL coming from everywhere (even the one who lives in Japan). They told the hospice nurses there would be a LOT of people there, so they made sure to give him the biggest room.

And convenient for us, it has it's own private back door to the "backyard" where there's a playground, a picnic table, and a lot of grass. It was nice for all the little kids to have somewhere to play instead of just sitting around in Grandpa's room. It was nice for the rest of us too, when we went and got 6, yes SIX pizzas for everyone there to eat for dinner....

The hospice center is very homey. Actually, it used to be a home... They just remodeled a little to accommodate medical supplies. They still have a family room and a kitchen with snacks like pretzels, doughnuts, and lemonade for family members to munch on. And of course, Carrie found the candy dispenser machine, dragged Auntie Marissa to it and waited while she fished quarters out of her change-purse so they could get some.

For now, Grandpa's still with us, but the doctors said it won't be long until his brain is too damaged from the bleed. He's lived a long life and he's been sick for a while. He had prostate cancer 3 years ago, and it recently came back and has spread into his bones. He has Parkinson's and lately has just been feeling, acting, and looking really old and tired. His passing will be a blessing.

When we first got there, I picked Carrie up and went over to his bed. We both said hi, and I love you. Then I tried to explain to her that Papa was very sick. She asked, "Is his tummy sick like mine?...." I answered, "No sweetie, his whole body is sick. Soon he's going to die and go live with Jesus and Brigham in Heaven". She looked a little sad, but just said, "Ok..." It's both sad, and wonderful the level of comprehension she has of death and heaven. We'll be sad when Grandpa Daryl dies, but we'll rejoice that he will be pain free and living in a new beautiful place with family members who have gone before.

Experiment

2011-11-08T09:07:00.001-08:00

To give you an idea of the kind of ho-hum mood I'm in and level of energy I have, let me fill you in on our weekend. Justin woke up Saturday morning with the flu bug. He was sick all day Saturday and Sunday. I took Carrie to church by myself, which wasn't really that bad, it was just crazy. Because Saturday night 2 of the 4 of us in the Primary Presidency's kids got sick. So we were running at half man-power. Or family pretty much wore pajamas all weekend and didn't really cook dinner. Not quite the way to get you energized for a new week. Thankfully, Justin is feeling better, and started his workweek as usual.

Here's how my morning has been so far. Woke up to find that Carrie's diaper was so full it leaked pee all over her sheets. For the second day in a row.... Yesterday I changed them quickly and threw the wet ones in the laundry room, but somehow didn't get around to washing them. When I went to go throw both sets of sheets in the washer this morning, I was overjoyed (sarcasm) to find a load of laundry still in the washer from 3 days ago!! @#%&*#@*!!!

I knew I was behind and thought there was only one load still in the dryer, but I didn't realize I was two loads behind and one had gotten left in the washer too! So now they'd been damp for days and had started to smell funny.... Not something you can just rinse away. So I had to ran the washer all over again.

Now, to the point of this post.... My experiment. My mom always said you can trick your brain into being happy by just putting a smile on your face, no matter what you're doing. So my experiment this week is going to be slapping a huge cheesy grin on my face the whole time I'm doing laundry, ironing (which I hate, but I'm going to have to do because I left the clean clothes unfolded for so long), cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, and especially, working out. I'm going to see if I can trick my brain.

Smiling releases endorphins, and maybe if I can succeed at this experiment, I can train myself to actually like doing all those things, rather than just doing them because they need to be done. I'll let you know how it goes.... Anyone is welcome to join me! :)

New Family Pictures!

2011-11-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

Hope you enjoy them as much as we do!!

Elevator

2011-11-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

This is short, but too cute not to post. Tonight as we were brushing teeth, getting ready for bed, Carrie herded me and Justin into our walk-in closet. She said, "We need to go suuuper-high".

We had no idea what she meant.... Until she slid the closet door shut, pretended to "push a button" on the wall, and stood there with her arms crossed.... waiting....

It clicked with both of us at the same time.... We were in an "elevator".... After a few seconds, she made a little "ding" sound, and proudly announced as she opened the door, "OK, we're suuuper-high!"

Oh the imagination!!! :)

Last Minute Birthday Surprise....

2011-10-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

First of all, Happy Halloween everybody! Kinda....

Backing up real quick, yesterday was my 24th birthday. It was pretty great. We had our Primary Program, and as a member of the Presidency, I'm ELATED it's finally over! Everything turned out awesomely, but the few weeks prior put us in such a worry-fit, we didn't think anything was going to go right day-of.... Luckily, we were proved wrong, and I got a lovely birthday present of singing children and angelic "from the mouths of babes"-esque speaking parts... Then I got sang to twice in Sharing time (Jr and Sr) and we played a game with a monster dice and sang silly songs....

We went into town for dinner at my parents and got to play a game that I'm pretty sure nobody else likes to play but me. Everyone was such good sports... We headed home early, put Carrie to bed and I fell asleep thinking I'd had a pretty good birthday.....

Que "last minute birthday surprise"..... now.

A few minutes before midnight, Carrie made a coughing sound. I shrugged it off, but Justin bolted upright and said, "Did you hear that?! Is she ok?" (which is weird, because he usually doesn't hear her at night). I shuffled in to check on her and found her covered in throw-up..... grreeaaattt......

After a few scrambling minutes of running to the bathroom, grabbing a bowl, cleaning up, and bathing, Carrie was settled in on the floor in our room for the rest of the night. We did not. sleep. well.... She threw up probably five or six more times before the sun came up and a few times in the early-mid morning.

We lazed around and watched too much TV all day. (On a side note, because of the extreme lack of sleep and the queezy feeling that always comes to the parents when your kid gets sick, Justin stayed home from work, and we got our grass seed planted today!!)

Anyways, Carrie crashed asleep on the couch upstairs for a couple hours in the afternoon.

When she woke up, it was about time for us to decide if we were going to do anything for Halloween night. We had an invitation to walk around trick or treating with some friends; An option that QUICKLY was shut down by Carrie, almost in tears.... The other option was to drop in at another friend's block party. We figured we'd grab a couple bites of food, hang out for a bit and head home. We felt pretty safe because Carrie hadn't thrown up since about 10am...

On the way there, we stopped by the grocery store for bananas, per Carrie's request.... and she threw up in the parking lot. Luckily, Justin was able to grab her out of her carseat with a split second to spare.

Carrie said she still wanted to go, and us being slightly selfish, horrible parents thought, "Well, we still want to go too...." So we went... We walked around the block following our friends' kids trick or treating while Carrie was fully satisfied with sitting in the stroller, not in costume. But of course that wouldn't be the end of it... :) She puked in a random stranger's driveway... Got it all over herself and the stroller.... We went home and she fell asleep faster than Justin could say, "She's going to be out in no time"
Poor girl... It's been a long day....

Cinderella's Royal Family

2011-10-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

Last night was our Ward Halloween party! I know you've all been looking forward to seeing our costumes.... So... here you go! Cinderella's Royal Family!!

Out of nowhere, I decided Carrie should be Cinderella for Halloween. I've been planning it for MONTHS.... Seriously, I would lay awake at night thinking of how to construct the dress to perfection....

And who's Cinderella without her Prince Charming? (His outfit? Old white shirt, workout pants, gold satin and hot glue.... lots of hot glue.....)

Even though I've been planning this for months, and bought everything to make our costumes a good 6 weeks ago.... I did almost NO work on them until this week.... Most of it was done Thursday night. That's right, the night before the ward party I stayed up until 2:30am finishing our costumes.... Luckily, I was in good company. My friend Corynn had plenty to craft too, and she let me stay at her place til the wee morning hours and use her husband as my "dress form" to hot glue some of Justin's costume together...

These are the mini spider-web cupcakes I made for the cakewalk booth the Primary Presidency was in charge of at the ward party. The spiders on them are little plastic rings, so the kids got a treat and a toy :)

Just chilling with Daddy/Prince Charming after a long 2 1/2 rounds around the cultural hall "t

And just because, here's a few of our friends and their awesome costumes:

Corey, Liz, and Ben as a Super Mario Bros Family

Cori as a web, and Jazlyn as a spider

Indi as Rapunzel and Isaiah as Spiderman (his mom tried to talk him in to being Flynn Rider, but to no avail...)

Everett as Perry the Platypus.... If you don't know who that is, you should watch more Disney Channel......

One of the Missionaries as.... an Angry Bird?... I think?.... No wait, I got it! Literally, just now as I was looking at the picture... He's a minion, from "Despicable Me".... :)

If he was really trying to be an Angry Bird, he should have taken a hint from Kai....

Carrie trick or treating to our home teacher and his wife. (No that's not his real hair) ;)

The kids playing the cakewalk.

We had a blast! I love indoor Halloween :) Now I better get started thinking about what we should be next year, it's going to sneak up on me before I know it!! I hope this won't jinx it, but I REALLY hope we have another little family member to dress up with us next Halloween....

How Could We be Angry?

2011-10-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

Remember this picture? (July 2009)
Last night Carrie was being a little terror about going to bed. I don't even remember the specifics, but it wasn't pretty. We'd reached a tipping point and just said, "Goodnight", shut the door and let her scream.

She was calling out, "Mommy! Daddy!" etc... but we both knew we were too steamed to rationally deal with her. The next thing we heard her shout/cry?..... "DADDY!! WE FORGOT TO READ SCRIPTURES!!!"

It was sad and pathetic and adorable..... I don't know if it was just a rouse to get to stay up for a few minutes longer, but I'm thinking probably not. I feel really proud of us for instilling that habit in her already. Although most days she fights it, squirming, wiggling, and whining about repeating a verse.... I think deep down she likes it....

We immediately went into her room, scriptures in hand, and read together as a family. And she went right to sleep.....

Jogging

2011-10-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

I know by the looks of Carrie's wardrobe, you'd think it was snowing or something, but nope. Just 54 degrees. We're freezing!! Although once we get all bundled up, it's the perfect weather to go for a jog in. It's one of Carrie's favorite things lately. Lucky for me, when she asks, it's usually so cute, I can't say no, and I get a workout in the process. :)

(Quick bragging moment, I crocheted that beanie! And I love it! Carrie hated it for about a week, and then suddenly begged to wear it. I was so excited because it looks so stinkin' cute on her!)

About halfway through our jog, I wasn't really jogging anymore... I was totally walking... Cheater cheater, I know.... Anyways, I guess Carrie was serious when she said she wanted to go on a jog; She asked me if she could get out of the stroller to run "super-fast"

She ran almost the entire way back home. I was thoroughly impressed. Looks like I have a little jogging buddy now!

Cookie Fail... Kinda

2011-10-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

I really wanted to carve pumpkins this year... Our "to-do list:time" ratio wasn't looking too promising though.... So instead, we just made halloween themed cookies (Using pre-made cookie dough and frosting, and sprinkles that someone else bought for us... oober lazy)

Carrie had fun helping me roll out the dough and cut the shapes.

We had bats, pumpkins, moons, cats, witches, and ghosts.... At least when they were in dough form...

When we baked them they lost their shape completely!! I was so bummed! They ended up being big Halloween blobs!

Carrie didn't seem to mind too much though ;)

Meltdown

2011-10-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

I had a major emotional meltdown last night.... About Brigham, the miscarriage, not being pregnant, body image issues, hating that life's not fair, not knowing all the answers to everything....

My biggest gripe lately has been trying to trust in Heavenly Father's timing. I like being in charge, I like lists, schedules etc.... So it makes me crazy that I don't know my whole life plan!! :P It's always worse when I'm tired, obviously, but still.....

All I know is that we were ready for another baby in our home 9 1/2 months ago... But he's not here.... And then the miscarriage happened.... Consciously I don't feel judged because I don't fit the perfect little LDS family mold of, "Carrie's almost three, where's your next kid?".... But I guess subconsciously I feel it. Or more so, I think I'm judging myself... My life isn't following MY plan exactly...

I'm going to be brave and bare my soul a bit... Our counselor suggested I have a notebook by my bedside so when I have my "I'm tired and emotional" moments, I can write things down. Here's a teeny excerpt from what I wrote last night.

"I know the truth! I have a testimony! Just because I'm aware of the bigger picture doesn't mean that I understand it, or like it... I don't know the details, but I really do try to "step into the dark" and try to trust that the light will follow me. I just feel like sometimes I have to take 3 or 4 steps in the dark before the light catches up.... Or maybe I'm running... Maybe that's my problem... I'm obviously trying to make my life go faster than Heavenly Father planned for me.... I don't know how to slow down..."

What a Pain in the Neck

2011-10-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Usually that phrase is used metaphorically.... I wish..... About a week ago, I pulled a muscle in my neck while I was doing my Jillian Michaels workout DVD. (Curse you, Jillian!) I know what you're thinking.... "Pulled a muscle working out?! How OLD are you?!".....

It must be an early birthday present reminding me that I'm getting closer to the quarter century mark. (My birthday's in a couple weeks and I'll only be 24, but I have a feeling next year's birthday is going to be rough!)

Anyways, it's STILL killing me! I can hardly turn my head to the left without flinching.... I've been hopped up on Ibuprofen and Tylenol around the clock for a whole week... Stretching, heating pad, ice.... It all works, but only for the teensiest amount of time... Then it's back.... I hope it goes away soon..... :(

And because I've been on a roll lately of posting random pictures that have nothing to do with my post, I'll keep it up.

Carrie's favorite place to eat grapes... The stairs. I don't know why...

The cute baseball cupcakes I made for a friend's baby shower tonight!

It's Not Dark Outside, It's Happy!

2011-10-17T14:05:00.000-07:00

That's Carrie's new favorite way to wake me up in the morning. She'll yell out, "Mommy!" and when I come into her room, she's points to the window and says, "See mommy?! It's not dark outside! It's happy!!!" Adorable and profound all at the same time....

And just because I don't have any pictures to go with that story, here's a couple recent random ones. Carrie holding up Flat Steven and a picture she drew for Halloween. Yes, I know you can't see the picture, but you can see her, and she's the cutest part about this picture, so enjoy :)

Also, last night, my youngest brother Jake had his Eagle Court of Honor! We're proud of him and the awesome example he is to Carrie.

Seriously.... Awesome.

What a Doll!

2011-10-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

Carrie has discovered Barbies... And I'm totally cool with it. This dollhouse she's playing with was mine and my sister's when we were little. Our parents built it for us for Christmas one year. (I'm feeling like building Carrie her own dollhouse might be an awesome Christmas present this year.....)

The dolls my mom got recently are all Disney Princesses, so Carrie already knows all their names.

I love that she totally knows how to play with them. Nobody taught her, she just started making the dolls chat, play, cook dinner, go to bed... Everything...

Also, because I didn't feel the need for a separate post, here's the cupcake cake I made for my dad's surprise 50th birthday party. It's cake mix boxes stacked and covered with fabric to look like a hill. Get it? Over the hill?.... The cupcakes are green and springy on the left and as they go up and over the hill, the frosting "plants" start to die, until they're only a pile of sticks at the bottom.... I thought it was clever....

San Diego!

2011-10-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

What a weekend! We got home last night from our trip to San Diego with my family! Here's oodles of pictures from our trip!

Carrie and "Flat Steven" in the courtyard at our hotel. (Flat Steven is a project for our cousin Steven who's in Kindergarten in Utah. "Flat Steven" came to visit us in the mail. We've had him for about a week and we get to take pictures with him of places we go and things we do, and then send him back so real Steven can give a report to his class!)

Grandma and Grandpa LaPray, and Grandma Lori

Monday we headed to the San Diego Zoo! Before we even went through the front gate we saw an elephant!

We decided the bus tour would be a great way to see most of the Zoo without getting to hot or tired. (Don't we look cute?! I love this picture!!)

The Elephants were Carrie's favorite part! She got soooo excited to see them! And she makes the cutest little elephant sound imitation ;)

Getting tickly hugs from Auntie Rissa on the bus

Some of the gang walking around. With us were, my parents, one set of grandparents, my sister Marissa (w/ husband and baby), my brother Kevin (w/ wife and baby), my brother Jake, my pseudo sister Alex (w/ baby).... Two full double strollers! (If you look really closely, you can see Carrie picking her nose.... I didn't see that at the time)

Carrie playing with Flat Steven during our lunch break

Trying to get a cute pic with Grandma, Carrie, and Mommy. But Carrie wouldn't look, stinker!!

Almost the only picture I got of Justin all day where he wasn't making a goofy face. Isn't he handsome?!

A long day at the zoo will certainly make you tired, especially if you're two years old...

Justin and Flat Steven riding the "Skyfari" tram. The Zoo is enormous!! And so gorgeous from above!

Carrie rode in the tram just before us, with my parents. This was our view on the way down!

Waving hello from the tram

Making friends with a gorilla statue (probably because she wants its banana) ;)

Poking up through the ice with a (fake) seal

Giving hugs to the polar bear statue

Panda bears!

Carrie's loot from the gift shop. A panda t-shirt and a panda puzzle. When she "opened her present", she held up the puzzle and asked us, "Where did you get this?". We replied, "From the gift shop." She thought for a second and said, "Oh... well, you can take it back to the gift shop, I don't need it"..... It was hilarious! (And no, we didn't take it back. It was like $3, and we knew she'd love it eventually)

She crashed in the stroller right as we were about to leave. 6 hours at the zoo?.... We were all tired...

But not tired enough to miss out on the Mormon Battalion Museum. (Thanks Brian and Kristan for the suggestion!) Grandma LaPray stayed at the hotel with the sleeping babies while the rest of us trekked out to the museum. It was so cool!

Jake got to dress up like one of the battalion members. From what I hear, that gun is super heavy!

At the end of the tour, we all got to pan for gold. Wish it wasn't fools gold, we found a lot...

We got a commemorative museum picture too!

Then we headed to the San Diego Temple to see it all lit up at night.

We were back the next day though, because....

My Sister Marissa, Brother-in-law Brandon, and Nephew Isac, were sealed together as a family for all Eternity!!!

We're so proud of them for reaching this goal! Congrats Smith family! We loved being a part of your special day! Thanks for giving us a reason to have a family vacation to San Diego! ;)

Park BBQ

2011-10-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

We got to go have a lot of fun tonight with some friends at an abandoned park. The developers built the park, but then never built up the community of houses around it. So we had it all to ourselves. We brought dinner and enjoyed a fun evening of grilling, eating and playing together!

Just Because

2011-10-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

Hanging out at Grandma's house.... I'm not quite sure how she got like that without falling completely off the couch....

We still haven't made any more progress on our backyard the last few weeks, but Justin did clean off the patio of all the shovels, pipe, wheelbarrow, dirt, dirt, and dirt.... Which makes playing on the patio with chalk on a BEAUTIFUL chilly morning tons of fun. (And when I say chilly, I mean 65 degrees with a little breeze.... marvelous)

Yo-Yo

2011-10-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

Some days I hate hormones, emotions, and being a grown-up.... I have yet to pinpoint the exact reason, but every once in a while, I just have a grumpy day. And usually it's all the tiny things that decide to crash down on me at the same time. Feeling out of shape and mushy, feeling like Carrie is a teenager and actively trying to defy me, feeling like a tornado went through my house, feeling like we have negative money, missing Brigham like crazy, while at the same time feeling like his whole life was a dream....

And then there are the days where my life is awesome and wonderful and loving and perfect! It's exhausting!

Throughout this year, we've often had people say how strong we are. How inspiring it is that we're even "upright". We're living our daily lives and blending in with the rest of the population as if we haven't had the devastating trials we've had. I know we could certainly be lower, but I don't think we're all that awesome.... Anyways, the point I was trying to get to was, our Bishop said something that stuck with me. I can't quote it exactly, but something to the effect of, "Because your highs are so high, when you have lows, they might seem REALLY low."

I kind of think of it with a diving board metaphor. If you're on the low dive, jumping into the pool doesn't seem like that far of a fall. But if you're on the high dive, even though you're going to end up in the same pool, the fall to get there seems huge!

We've been so blessed to have our testimonies be strengthened through all these trials. I know it would be impossible to really count all our blessings, but when we try, it's baffling. We have so many temporal comforts, a nice house, Justin's job, food to eat, one car that still runs. We have good educations, and live in a free country. We have loving supportive families, good friends, an earthly angel for a daughter, and a heavenly angel for a son.... We have each other. For eternity....

So while the bad days are annoying, history has shown me that I'll likely yo-yo back up soon. That's why I write posts like this; So I can read them on a bad day and remember how truly blessed I really am.

I Have To Do My Work First

2011-10-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to find Carrie to put her to bed. I found her in my parents room and said, "Come on, it's time to go have prayer and go to bed!" She looked at me very seriously and said, "Mom, I have to do my work first. Just a minute OK?"

She then proceeded to climb onto my dad's desk chair and up to his computer. She started clicking and scrolling away with the mouse. She found my dad's reading glasses and put them on, but I think they hurt her eyes, so she figured they would still be useful just sitting on the desk.

She tried to treat the desktop monitor like a touch screen.... :)

And of course when she discovered I was taking pictures, she had to ham it up for the camera!

A couple other funny things she's said lately:

"It's only the best I've ever seen!!" That means she really really wants it; could be a movie, cereal, a stuffed animal etc. I don't know where she learned this.

When Justin called my parents' dog and she ran away instead of coming to him, Carrie looked at him and very seriously said, "She doesn't trust you". Again, no idea where she learned this one.... Truly...

"Rooster! Come out, come out wherever you are!!" (Calling out the back door for the dog). AGAIN, don't know where she learned this!

I love wondering when she'll say the next thing that just plain baffles and amazes me!

Conference Saturday

2011-10-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

We had quite a full day of fun today. We started out by watching General Conference, which was awesome! Then my mom, sister and I went to get pedicures.

I had meant to take a picture of us while we were sitting in the chairs, but I forgot.... So all I got was this, my pretty design.

We got back just in time for the second Conference session. The boys went out to dinner and then Priesthood session and the girls out to dinner together. Right before we left for dinner we all realized our kids needed diaper changes. Unplanned, we ended up changing their diapers all at the same time. It was too funny not to snap a picture of.

I took my camera with us, but of course, once we got there, I forgot to take a picture again. Suffice it to say it was a mediocre night. The food was good, but it took forever to come. Carrie hadn't been feeling well that morning, just a little tummy ache. While waiting for our food, it got to the point where she was in tears at the restaurant because she was so hungry and her tummy hurt so much... And then came the best part. The waitress was complimenting my mom on all her cute grandkids when she turned to me and asked, "And are we expecting another one over here?"......... Ummm, no.... Thanks for asking....

Really?! I don't understand why people ask things like that! I know I have a little muffin top chub going on, but I certainly don't look pregnant! Anyways, we had a good time despite Carrie's tears and the waitress without a filter between her brain and her mouth. Just to make sure the night would end well, we stopped by the grocery store to pick up some triple chocolate fudge ice cream on the way home ;)

Wish We had a Pool

2011-09-29T12:21:00.000-07:00

This morning, Carrie woke up complaining that "her tummy was sick". She snacked on a waffle and sipped water for a couple hours, just vegging on the couch. But that was it. Once she finally started acting like herself around 11, I went to do something in the other room. She found her swimming floaties in the closet and started shrieking excitedly about going swimming.

Since we don't have a pool, I told her that maybe we could go swimming at Grandma and Grandpa's this weekend. She seemed ok with that answer and went off to play again. A few minutes later she walked in the room and said, "I'm ready to go swimming!!" She'd taken off her own pajamas and put on her swimming suit, floaties, and hat.

So now she's running around the house in her swimming suit.... :) Whatever..... As I was reading over my post from a couple days ago about how she loves her shadow, I happened to turn around and see her doing this.
Jumping on the couch in the spot of sunshine still barely coming in through those second story windows and enjoying watching her shadow jump with her. Oh yeah, and she's also holding two pairs of panties.... When she went looking for her swimming suit in her dresser, she also found her panties. These two are her favorites because they have polka dots on them, and they match each other. (I wish I could report that meant she was potty trained, but nope. Still not yet. She's just not quite into it yet and I'm not going to make all our lives a living heck again. It'll happen soon enough.)

Too Much Playing Can Tire You Out!

2011-09-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

Carrie has discovered her shadow, and it's adorable. She thinks it's so funny to watch it wiggle around when she does. Her favorite is first thing in the morning as we come down the stairs for breakfast. Our big second story windows in the living room cast perfect light for playing with our shadows.

In other random news, today was my first day back teaching piano lessons! I taught all through high school and loved it, but then nursing school, moving, and babies have kept me pretty busy the last few years. I'm back in action though and I'm excited! Shortly before my first student was to arrive, I was making sure the house was decently cleaned up and I went to give the piano a quick once-over with a rag. This is what I found.

In case you can't tell, there are little marbles set on all the keys. Carrie got out our Mancala game a few days ago and is in love with all the shiny colorful marbles. Apparently she found a great way to have them all on display!

In her fun-filled day of playing, she didn't take a nap (Well, I didn't force her to have quiet time in her room in hopes that she'd fall asleep....) Anyways, she was watching a movie upstairs while I did lessons. And the need for a nap finally caught up with her. At 5:30pm.....

We decided we didn't care that her nap was so late. She naps so infrequently now that we'll take whatever we can get! I finally woke her up about 6:30 so she would still go to bed at a decent hour though!

Brunch and Broadcast

2011-09-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

Justin and my dad share a birthday. My parents took us out to dinner on Thursday (their actual birthday). Then to celebrate my dad's 50th (?!?!) we had brunch today at Denny's with all my siblings, and their spouses and kids.

Carrie LOVES stuffed animal crane machines (what kid doesn't?) My brother Jake happens to be strangely talented at winning. So we tried a couple times. No luck. The cooperative ones had already been picked. Of course Carrie talked Auntie Rissa into trying again while we were waiting for our food. No luck again.... :(

I don't know if that's what caused her bad mood, but she was a little grumpy the rest of the morning. (Grandma, Isac, Carrie [look at her grumpy face], Auntie Marissa, Grandpa, and Rose.)

Grandpa, Jake, Kandis, Rose and Kevin (obviously these pictures were not taken immediately one right after the other because Rose is being held by a different person in each of them) And I didn't realize until just now that somehow I didn't get a picture of our Bro-in-law Brandon.... He was there too...

I think by this point in the weekend Justin was a little "done" with me taking his picture....

Later in the afternoon Justin got to go to another Dbacks game with a coworker who had an extra ticket (I was very jealous). That meant I got to go to the General Relief Society Broadcast with my mom and sister. I was kind of ho-hum about going at first because I was disappointed I wasn't at the Dbacks game, but I'm glad I went! It was amazing!

I think I'm going to try to coin "Uchtdorf" as synonymous with words like "amazing", "wonderful", "remarkable", "incredible" etc..... Anybody second my motion?! To watch President Uchtdorf's entire talk, click here.

The Only Good Thing About the Giants

2011-09-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

Brian Wilson....
Do you see that beard?! It's ridiculous! In a good way. I love it. And because I love it so much I've looked up a few "Brian Wilson's Beard" jokes to share. These few are from the beginning of Seth Meyer's opening monologue at this year's ESPY's.

"Welcome to all those in attendance, the millions watching at home, and the millions more watching from Brian Wilson's beard"...."Some pitchers have goatee's. Brian Wilson has an entire goat"...."It looks like your beard is wearing a fake beard"

Anyways, the point of bringing up the Giants is that we went to the Diamondbacks game tonight where they beat the Giants and clinched the NL West Division! It was a blast! Here's the view from our FREE seats!

It was a close game until the Dbacks got a 2 run triple late in the game. We ended up winning 3-1. And man was everyone excited!!

The team swarming together on the field.

Yeah! The Dbacks won!

Division Champs!

And then it was time to head home. On the Metro.... HOLY CROWDED.... I'm pretty sure it was filled far past capacity, but people kept packing in. And I'd say probably 90% of them were totally drunk.....

We were SOOO squished!

The overly excited, overly wasted Dbacks fans were cheering and chanting WAY too loud, the whole way home. Mostly it was just annoying, they'd be chanting, "Let's go Dbacks!" or "Go home Giants!", or "ASU! ASU!" Some chants were just plain dumb, like "Let's get wasted!".... I remember thinking "you can already check that one off your list....."

Then it got really bad. I almost got myself beat up. In the moment, I didn't care though. Amongst the crowded train were 4 kids jammed together right next to us. One of them was autistic and all the crowding and chanting was making him super nervous and panicky. The crowd started chanting "F#*@%$* the Giants!" At headache-inducing volume.

I'd had enough. I jumped up on the chair toward the guy who had started that one and pounded his chest as hard as I could with my fist. I was MAD! I yelled right in his face, "HEY! That is UNNECESSARY! QUIT it!! There are KIDS on this train!!" Somehow they were completely oblivious to the four traumatized kids that were crammed only 18 inches away from them. Luckily they stopped chanting and I didn't get pummeled by drunk baseball fans.

Anyways, Mill Avenue (the station in the heart of ASU's campus) couldn't come fast enough. It was the longest train ride of my life. Lesson to my kids, my friends, my friends' kids, my siblings, everyone!.... Alcohol can very quickly turn perfectly nice decent people into inconsiderate jerks. Just saying.... Soapbox speech over....It was a good thing the Dbacks won so we still had something to be happy about!!

Birthday Boy (Man)

2011-09-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN!! 28 years young! We love you so much!!

I love you more than chocolate
I love you more than money
I love you more than anything
You're my eternal honey

I hope your birthday's wonderful
Filled with hugs and kisses
But not from everyone, of course
Just from me, your Mrs.

I Love You 18!

2011-09-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

The other night as I was putting Carrie to bed she said, "I love you mommy", and started softly patting my cheek (it was adorable). I said, "I love you too sweetie". The little smartie pants that she is, responded, "I love you three!"

I thought, what a fun game! How cute is this?! So I said, "I love you... FOUR!" Her reply this time?, "I love you..... THREE!!!" She thought saying three still made her win.... :) Anyways, last night she did it again, so I started throwing out random higher numbers to see if she could catch the point of the game. When I told her, "I love you 17", she thought for a second and finally said, "I love you..... 18!! I WIN!!!"

It was fabulous. I love her! I usually lay by her every night for a few minutes before saying goodnight. One of her other favorite things to do is roll toward me and "snuggle my face". She'll touch her forehead to mine and reach to hold my hand. (It's one of my favorite things too) ON rare occasion, if I'm lucky, she'll fall asleep this way. In that little moment, she's a teeny baby again. Sometimes it seems like she is just growing up too fast!!

Having Fun with Friends (Even though BYU lost)

2011-09-18T15:29:00.001-07:00

First off, Happy Belated Birthday to my mom! Her birthday was yesterday and while we were at their house on Thursday, we threw an impromptu birthday party for her. I made cupcakes of course. Devil's food cake & peanut butter frosting using vanilla yogurt as the base, yummy!

Yesterday, we spent most of the day outside working on various parts of the yard. While Justin worked on fixing leaks in the drip system and I trimmed the bushes, Carrie chilled in the shade and played with chalk (and made an adorable smiley face when she caught me taking a picture of her)

Then we headed over to some friends for a BYU/Utah Football BBQ party!

Our friend Cori decided to be funny and make this half-offensive shirt. Pretty crafty huh?

The kids all munched on hot dogs outside (made clean-up awesome!)

And then played and played and played, until we all dragged them home to go to bed.

I got the kids to pose together for me

Sadly, by the time we were rounding up the kids to go home at halftime, the score was looking pretty dismal already. We DVR'd it while we were getting Carrie into bed and grumblingly watched the second half in fast forward. Definitely a disappointment. My extended family has a group on Cougarfan.com; Last week my score pick earned me 48/50 points. This week-- 0/50..... Better Luck next week boys!

Successful Coloring Job

2011-09-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today was the most successful coloring project we've ever had. Check it out.

In case you can't tell what everything is, here's a list....
Carrie, Ariel, Rapunzel's tower, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Flynn, Pascal, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Cinderella's Carriage, and Alien from Toy Story, Mike Wazowski, Sully, a horrible sketch of our house and yard, and a random pine tree with a baby red bird in it.... Overall, I was impressed with Carrie's seemingly endless memory and request of characters, and my drawing abilities, that based on the order I drew the pictures, seemed to improve as I went :)

It all started with a little Toy Story Alien toy she has lovingly named "Zabo". After we were done using him as a model for our coloring project, she proceeded to put him in her toy microwave to take a nap.... Oh the imagination!

Fun Project Idea

2011-09-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

I recently decided to play the role of "crafty mom" and help Carrie make a maraca to play with.
The supplies I used were:
2 pieces of blank paper
1 empty paper towel roll
1/2 cup dry rice
crayons/markers
random buttons and stickers
glue gun
tape
felt circles
rubber bands
ribbon

Decorate the paper, color, stick on stickers, glue-gun some buttons and/or bows on etc.

Wrap the picture around the roll and tape it in place

Put a felt circle over one edge and use a rubber band to hold it on

Then crumple the other piece of paper a little and stuff it inside the paper towel roll and carefully pour the dry rice inside

Lastly, put the other felt circle on and put the rubber band on to keep it secure

Tah-dah! A fun new "shaker" toy!

This has absolutely no relation to the project, I just thought it was funny. A couple days ago, while at my parents' house, Carrie had gotten her clothes all dirty. While they were getting washed, she sat in her diaper and watched a movie on a portable DVD player, complete with her own headphones. She thought it was so special to have her own little personal movie set-up.

Her Own Personal Playground

2011-09-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

Carrie is loving having a swingset in our backyard. She'll ask if she can go play in her park.... There is still only dirt back there and the sprinkler pipes are still uncovered, but her own "park" serves its purpose. Fun.

Swinging (and looking far too much like a dirty, unkempt orphan child)

And the slide. Ready.....

Set......

GO!!!!!

Cousins!

2011-09-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

For Labor Day, we spent the day with my family in Mesa. We got a few really cute pictures of Carrie with her baby cousins (on my side of the family).

First, here she is with her brand new cousin Isac. He's just over a week old. I forget how tiny babies are when they're newborn! And he weighed 8lbs- how is it possible that Carrie was almost two pounds littler than that?!

"Alright, I'm ready to hold the babies. Bring it on"

Isac, Carrie and Rose.

And since we're already talking about cousins, here's a little project I did for my sister and her new baby Isac. Can you tell what it is?..... No?.....

It's what a diaper bag looks like when it's rolled completely inside itself to be sewn! Duh! The right-side-out version is a little cuter though, so here you go :)

And while I was sewing that for a couple of hours, Carrie played with a little jar of buttons. The whole time..... I wish I was so easily entertained

That Time With the Steak Knife

2011-09-04T13:07:00.001-07:00

I'm sure you're wondering what the title of this post could mean.... The following is sure to be a quick, funny, "remember when" story that we tell at family reunions for years. About me, a steak knife, electrical wiring, and a sprinkler system. Sounds dangerous, I know....

Yesterday we worked on the sprinkler system again. Attached the sprinkler heads, adjusted their direction and water-shooting length (getting absolutely soaked in the process), and connecting the wiring to add it to our automatic system. We have wire cutters, but they're pretty dull and not very useful. We don't own any wire strippers, which were more important for this project anyways. So we improvised. With a steak knife and pliers....

It was working pretty well and I was on my last of 6 wires to be stripped and connected. All I needed was another eighth of an inch worth of space to work with. I went to make one last slice, slipped and proceeded to stab my finger with the steak knife. I swear the only reason it didn't go straight through is because it hit my knuckle bone.

I automatically shoved my finger in my mouth and soon started to feel a little vampirish with regards to the amount of blood that continued to pour out. Since we were almost done with the wiring work, I didn't want to go inside to take care of it, only to have to come back out into the grueling heat to finish. I had Justin grab me a paper towel and we made the most ghetto-rigged bandaid ever. Paper towel and electrical tape. But it worked!

So far today, a bandaid is managing the wound just fine. I might have over dramatized it in the moment, but for a split second, I thought I'd sliced my finger off. Lucky me, I only got the point of the steak knife. And I've learned my lesson. No more bare-handed electrical work on a water system using a steak knife.... (You'd think that would be a lesson I wouldn't need to learn by experience....)

Funny, Funny Girl

2011-09-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know how she comes up with so many funny things, but seriously.... This girl is a hoot!

For my first example, you get a picture... I took this while we were on our way to the hospital when my sister was about to have her baby. This is not staged.... If you don't get why it's funny, just look at the picture again and think about the situation....
Next, a long, long list of hilarious things she's said and done lately.

-"I want to eat Minnie Mouse for brekiss!" Translation: she wants to eat Mini-Wheats for breakfast

-During "quiet time" (what used to be nap time, about 2-3:30ish), sometimes I'll tell her, "You can come out when Daddy comes home" (about 3:30). One day about ten minutes after I left her room for the unpteenth time trying to get her to lay down and be quiet, she started knocking on the door from the inside and yelling, "Daddy! I'm stuck in my rooooom! Heee-eelp me Daddy!" Lucky for her he came home just a few minutes later ;)

-While I was getting ready for the day, she climbed onto our bed, starting jumping and shouting/singing "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. The best part though? She doesn't know some of the words, she just knows their general sound, so she mumbled over them. One part that was crystal clear though was "Bright young women, sick of swimming, ready to SWIIIIIIIIMMMM!!!!" (Yes, that's supposed to be "ready to stand")

-She was playing with a star-shaped toy and suddenly shouted, "Come on Twinkle Little Star, the Street Rat's gonna get you! Hurry! Hide!!" (The obvious reference to the famous nursery rhyme and the less obvious reference to Aladdin)

-She also has a new infatuation with imaginary monsters. But not in a scared way, in a playful way. She'll shout, "Oh no, the monster's gonna get us!", squeal with delight and run into another room where she can "hide where nobody can find her". This could be anywhere, behind a couch, in a closet, a bathroom..... Somehow though, the "monster" usually finds her and she has to run somewhere else, giddily screaming as she flies through the house. One of us often gets pulled along for the ride.

-She found my cold rice pack in the freezer that I put on my head if I have a headache. She plopped it on her own head and said, very seriously, "I have a hiccup up here. The ice pack will make it feel better"

-She came up behind me started licking her fingers, mussing my hair everywhere and kept saying, "It will help your hair look wonderful OK?!" When she was done styling my hair, she carefully placed a baby toy on top of my head and announced, "You look like a Princess!" When I asked which princess, she responded, "Sleeping Beauty". I probably did look like I had a serious case of bed-head ;)

-We've recently started reading the scriptures as a family before bed. Justin and I each read a verse and then Carrie will copy me as I read a few words at a time of her verse. Only a couple of days after starting, I was trying to get her to copy me in saying a verse. As soon as I started, she harrumphed, and said, "Mommy, you forgot to say, 'and it came to pass!'..." It. Was. Awesome.

-"Tangled" was recently on TV and we DVR'd it. We've been watching it a ton. Luckily I don't mind watching that one over and over. Yet. This morning, Carrie said the blessing at breakfast. She did the normal "thank you for and blessing the food" part and was about to close when she stopped short and added, "and please bless us to watch Rapunzel again today, inthenameofjesuschrist,amen!"

-So we watched Tangled. I swear, 10 minutes after it was over, she said, "Mommy, can we watch Tangled please?" I said, "Sweetie, we just did!" She quickly replied, "No, we watched Rapunzel!"

She is so dang quick-witted for a 2 year old! I love it! She must get it from her uncle Jake (whose lightning fast quick-witted dry humor is likely to make you spurt milk out your nose) Because you all know Justin and I aren't this funny! We're so lucky to have her to keep us entertained!

Figuring It All Out

2011-08-29T15:03:00.000-07:00

Since we've been through some crazy grief-inducing events regarding our children this year, we decided that maybe it would be a good idea to finally talk to a grief counselor. We met with our Bishop who referred us to LDS Family Services. I wouldn't have it any other way. Having an LDS counselor was #1 on my priority list. Our faith has the biggest impact on how we're "dealing with" all these emotional trials.

So a couple weeks ago was our first appointment. As it turns out, our grief counseling has turned slightly more toward communication counseling. We discovered that we didn't know how to communicate what we were feeling with each other, and the grief of our trials this year was only adding to the stress.

Now, I was a little leery about writing about going to counseling because it's kind of "none of your business"..... However, I've already learned so many things in this first couple of times that I have to share a bit.

1. Humans are not mind readers. Don't expect your spouse to read your mind and don't expect to be able to read theirs.

2. In regard to #1, say what you're feeling. Even the little things (especially the little things). An example: If it bugs you that your husband puts his dishes in the sink instead of loading them in the dishwasher, kindly mention it. He probably doesn't realize it bugs you. Or how much you would appreciate it if he just loaded them. When you keep it inside, over time it keeps building up until one day you explode about it. Then and argument about nothing is sparked. Because seriously, not loading the dishes isn't the end of the world, but in that moment it might feel like it. Frustrations come flooding out from both people and a silly thing can become something ridiculous and unnecessary.

3. Learn how your spouse likes to receive love. Learn their Love Language (Click to take your own love language quiz, have your spouse take it, and share your results with each other). For example, my strongest love language is service. I feel loved when Justin helps me around the house etc. His strongest love language is physical. I feel like I show my love for him by having the house clean when he gets home from work. While he appreciates this, he'd rather I be waiting at the door to give him a big hug and kiss when he gets home. We automatically give love in the way that we most like to receive it, but the other person may not recognize that we're trying to show it. When we learn their love language we can make efforts to show our love in ways that they'd be more likely to notice and appreciate.

4. Compliment each other. Show verbal appreciation. Praise. Be positive..... SMILE. Making your facial muscles smile actually releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier, whether you're actually happy or not.

It's amazing the difference in our home since we've gone to a couple sessions. We were by no means fighting, yelling, etc. all the time. We've always had a happy healthy marriage and family life. We have little arguments occasionally, just like everyone else. It just kind of felt like there was always some little stressor or grief cloud that made life a little ho-hum and tense sometimes.

As we're learning more and more how to communicate with each other, we're realizing we can work together to get through stressful times and by being honest, can feel the warmth of the Holy Ghost residing in our home every day. It's awesome. You should try it....

What We've Been Up To While Carrie's Been Gone

2011-08-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

Carrie tried to "help" me pack by filling an entire suitcase with her dolls, stuffed animals and play food....

On Carrie's last morning here, I made some delicious dark chocolate raspberry cupcakes for a friend's baby shower

Complete with tangy raspberry curd filling, raspberry vanilla frosting, and raspberry glaze drizzle. Yum!

Carrie sure enjoyed hers!

And Saturday morning, we passed her off to Justin's parents for the week! On our way home from dropping her off we stopped at Kohl's to spend the rest of a forgotten gift card from Christmas. Justin got a nice new button up shirt (no picture, sorry) and I got this cute maxi-dress on clearance!

Then the real work began. All week instead of relaxing while Carrie was gone, we tried to cram in as much work as possible! During the daytime, I mostly painted. I finally finished the kids bathroom which has been almost done since before Christmas. Then I started on downstairs. In particular, the garage door entryway and half stair wall.

Finished! This is the same color that's in the hallway upstairs and on a couple walls in our bedroom and bathroom. It's become my go-to neutral.

Next came the front door entryway. Which has very high ceilings.... Even standing as high as I dared on our 6 foot ladder, I still couldn't reach the top couple of feet. It's on my to-do list to borrow a taller ladder from a friend to finish it soon.

Then Tuesday afternoon, with help from several friends, we started the crazy work of installing a sprinkler system in our backyard....

Justin and Trent with the trencher

Burrowing under the curbing so sprinkler pvc pipe could be run through underneath.

An example of the huge slab-like mounds of concrete we kept finding a few inches under the surface of the dirt.

The trenching machine was a huge help, but still annoying hard work in and of itself. (And I wouldn't even really know, the boys did that part)

Justin and Eli and some ditch-digging, pick-swinging fun.... At 5:00 pm.... In the record breaking 116 degree heat....

Carrie's wagon worked great as a form of transportation and storage for the little supplies.

We had hoped to get it all done (or at least mostly done) in that first day. Not even close.... We worked every day this week and it's still not done. One thing we made sure we finished though was Carrie's new swingset!

By last night we were exhausted and ready for a break. Lucky for us, we had a ward luau to go to! We got to wear our new matching Hawaiian wardrobe. Justin's grandma recently visited Hawaii and sent us Justin's shirt and my dress (Carrie has a matching dress too).

We had delicious pork, pineapple, and rice burritos, fruit, and sweet coconut milk filled rolls for dessert.

We also had some dancing entertainment. A family from the Stake performed and then we took turns going on stage to learn some of it. The men went first doing one of the yelling, chanting, stomping, slapping dances. It was very entertaining :) (Justin's on the far right)

Then the women learned the Hukilau. (I'm in the middle in the red-flowered dress) They gave out prizes for the best dancer in each, and I won for the women! Woohoo! Hula is fun!
The point of it all.... Family

Now that our fun and work-filled childless week is over, this morning we drove to meet Justin's parents to bring Carrie back home. Since we'd been working so hard all week and then stayed up late last night, we thought it would be a good idea to bring something to keep us awake on the drive...

She had quite a fun-filled week too... And a very long day of driving. Six hours in the car makes me want to take a nap too...

Once we got home, she was very excited to try on all our lei's from the luau!

And celebrate our family being back together again with pizza night!

What Carrie's Been Up To

2011-08-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

This week Carrie has been with Justin's parents in New Mexico. Just for fun. It seems it's becoming an annual tradition in late summer. Here's a peek at what she's been up to this week!

Eating lunch with her cousin Logan at Nana and Papa's kiddie table
Eating a whopping-huge bowl of strawberry ice cream with sprinkles because she ate all her dinner
Posing big time for the camera

Getting her nails done in a salon with Nana's activity days girls.
Complete with polka-spots! (As she would say) ;)

Swinging with the neighbor kids

Playing with puzzles at Nana's office

Chillin' on the couch and occasionally staying up past bedtime to snuggle with Nana and watch a movie. :)

We've sure missed having her at home! From the few phone conversations and camera-phone shots, we're pretty sure she's having a great time, but we're glad she's coming home tomorrow!! Apparently this morning she told Nana, "Let's go to mommy and daddy's house".... I guess one week is the home-sick limit for this two year old! (And for her mommy and daddy too!)

Little Miss Sunshine

2011-08-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

How are we going to survive the next week without this precious little ray of sunshine in our home?!

Carrie, we hope you have fun with Nana and Papa, because we'll sure miss you like crazy here at home!

Cool Eatin'

2011-08-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

This is the inside of my upright deep freezer in the garage (partial view).

Do you see the stacks and stacks of freezer meals in there? It's like looking at heaven.....

Yesterday I planned out, shopped for, and made freezer meals with my little sister. (With a pretty big amount of help from both my parents too.) By the end of the day we counted out that we had made 53 small-family-sized meals! All for $134 and a couple of things my mom already had in her pantry. By the time we split up the cost between my parents and two of my siblings, we ended up paying $40.

It was long hard work (which I confess, I only worked on for about 2 1/2 hours because I had an appointment to go to in the middle of it all). But we all scored big time! I came home with 15 meals to put in my freezer :) My sister got the lion's share since it was her idea and she's having a baby in a week and a half....

Someone had made a comment on facebook recently about wanting to make freezer meals, but they didn't know what to make or how to do it. It's super duper easy (yes, I know that's a cheesy way to say it, but it really is no nonsense) You can freeze almost anything! Starches don't freeze very well (potatoes, rices, and pastas); They only last a week or two, but other than that, seriously. Almost anything.

The few meals we decided to make were chicken cordon bleu, chili, chicken enchiladas, meatloaf, chicken pockets, chinese sundaes/hawaiian haystacks, parmesan chicken, and sloppy joes.

This added to the chicken chimichangas, veggie stir-fry, homemade avacado hamburger patties, spicy chicken tacos, pork roast, and several bags of plain cooked hamburger for quickie hamburger helper and tacos etc. that I already had in the freezer.....

I love having dinner already mostly made for me. Especially in the summer when it's so stinking hot! And because we're trying to conserve energy by turning our air to 83 during the day, (ugh), I have a hard time finding the energy to cook!

Another tidbit that I've learned is a HUGE help is this....A menu. Justin found this magnetic backed whiteboard (8 1/2 x 11) and it is on display on our fridge. I'll admit I'm not always the best at using it, but when I do, my week goes SOOO much smoother! I save money on groceries because I can plan ahead and only buy what we need, rather than guessing and having to go back several times in the week for ingredients.

It's also nice because I don't have to figure out what's for dinner every single day. I take about 20 minutes once a week, flip through my recipes and my pantry and make up my list. In this case, I have meals planned for two weeks at a time. I don't know why, but it's awesome. Other than milk and bananas, I shouldn't have to grocery shop until the 26th. Dinner is kind of my daily bummer. But these couple of things make my job a ton easier!

Sharing Time

2011-08-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

I survived my first time teaching Sharing Time today!!! I don't know how because last night I had no idea how it was going to work, but it did! And amazingly so.... The topic? Modesty. It's one of those things that's pretty straight forward, but sometimes people think the "guidelines" are super flexible. Mostly, I was worried about a scenario like this, "What if one of the little 6 year olds has on a sleeveless dress and feels bad when I mention that 'shoulders should be covered'?! She probably didn't pick out that dress, and besides, it's not like she's 16 and flaunting around in a tubetop..."

But I got lucky. No awkwardness was had by anyone in our primary today. Whew!..... Next week, word of wisdom. Should be much less nerve racking.

Justin and I had a mini-date last night running a couple errands and gabbing some quick dinner at Native New Yorker. Our errands were pretty exciting though. Carrie is going to spend a week with Justin's parents next week. While she's gone, we're going to try to get as much of our backyard in as we can. (With the intent to make it easier on ourselves when we get sod, you know, having to stay off it for a few days....)

Anyways, our date consisted of buying our new swingset, and figuring out all the supplies and cost for doing our sprinklers. I hope Carrie is super excited to come home and find her own personal park in the backyard :)

A cute little on-the-spot story. As I'm typing, Carrie is in the background singing. She's never seen the movie Cinderella, but knows the character. And apparently likes her a lot. *She has her favorite pink blanket that she has dubbed the "Cinderella blanket", and her plastic fancy dress up high heels are the "Cinderella shoes"*

Back to right now though. She's singing random notes all over the place repeating, "CinderELLa! CinderELLa! CinderELLa! CinderELLa!" I guess we should figure out if someone has that movie we can borrow so she can get to know it better. (Especially since I've been planning her Cinderella halloween costume for months in my head)

Pick-Me-Up

2011-08-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

I got my hair done today. My friend and fellow Primary Presidency counselor Jayna, offered to do my hair to give me a little pick-me-up. And it worked. I felt like I had finally gotten my hair to the right color of lightness I liked. So instead of changing it completely, she dyed the bottom darker (which apparently makes your hair appear longer, yipee!)
And did a weave of highlights throughout the top.

Since I'm trying to grow it out, she just did a little trim to even up the edges. This picture does it absolutely no justice, (and I think actually does a bit of the opposite) but it was the best picture I could get. Trust me, I took like 30 trying to get a good one. Whatever....

Anyways, while I was taking so many pictures, Carrie wanted hers taken too. And she posed for it. She's learning fast ;)

She thinks this is just the coolest trick ever. Dangling her legs through the railing from the loft. Although when I went to take a picture she suddenly turned shy....

The other day when we were headed out to the store, she brought me my flip-flops. Like this.... (Look closely)

She was so proud of herself! ;)

Hopefully you can tell I've been in a much better mood the last couple days. We've all been getting along, feeling good, and being much happier than we were the beginning of this week. We hope it stays this way for a long while!

All Over the Place

2011-08-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

I have neither the desire nor the energy to make sense today. Therefore, this post is going to be literally all over the place.

Carrie has created this "nap corner" in her room. She throws her extra pillow, all her animals, baby dolls, blankets, etc into the space and somehow manages to find a little room for herself to sleep. (That is, on the rare days she actually takes a nap....)

When I chopped her hair off several months ago, I immediately regretted taking away the ability to do piggy tails. Don't get me wrong, I loved her cute little A-line bob, but I surely missed the piggies. A few days ago, I decided to try it again. And hooray! It's just barely long enough that I can do the "waterfall double piggy" style of piggy tails!

Yesterday we went to help my mom finish setting up her 6th grade classroom for the school year to start tomorrow. My mom thought it would be fun to get a piece of butcher paper and draw a life-sized outline of Carrie.

And now to show off my mad art-eest skills.... I drew this poster-board sized cartoon version of my mom to put on her bulletin board in the hallway. Apparently I was an instant celebrity with her students at back-to-school night :)

Carrie had fun coloring on my mom's smart board. I liked it because there was zero risk for coloring on herself! It's all digital!

This morning a friend called and invited us to go to McDonalds with her and her kids. We went, ate breakfast, the kids played in the playplace.... it was fun! A few minutes before we left, I was trying to coax Carrie to come down the slide by calling her name from the bottom. A random little boy came over and starting helping me call her name. When Carrie finally came down, he helped her down, and they started holding hands and staring into each others eyes.... It was bizarre!! I'm pretty sure "that moment" isn't supposed to happen for about 20 more years! Anyways, they stuck to each other like glue for the few minutes before we left. His mom and I had to almost literally pull them apart from each other while they were whining, "No, I want to stay with Joey!/Carrie! I want you to stay with me!"...... *Remember, they had only met a few minutes before...* It was very strange and adorable at the same time!

Here is a close-up of the mini cupcakes I made last weekend...

...for THIS awesome new missionary. He left this afternoon to go to the MTC. Elder Christopher Beeson will be serving the Lord for two years in the Chile, Santiago North mission! (Justin was in Santiago West). His family have been ridiculously close friends with my family since he and my younger brother were in the same kindergarten class 14 years ago. We're so proud of him and especially excited that he's going soooo near to Justin's mission!

I'm having a pretty blah couple of days, but hopefully they'll turn around soon. It's annoying to feel like sludge when I still have things to do around the house and cute stories of Carrie to tell.....

Perspective

2011-08-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

Throughout my trials (especially this year), I've learned to never say, "It's not fair. Why me?" And I'll tell you why.

It may seem easier to have the perspective of, "Why me?"... I've been a faithful, active member of the church my whole life. I went to seminary, I read my scriptures, I say my prayers, I keep the word of wisdom, I was married in the temple to a worthy returned missionary.... I do everything I'm "supposed" to do. So why am I being tried like this?

To start my explanation, I have another quote tidbit from Elder Nelson's conference talk that I so heavily referenced in my "secret to strength" post.

"Think of the intense and impassioned prayers of the Prophet Joseph Smith during his dreadful days of incarceration in Liberty Jail. The Lord responded by changing the Prophet’s perspective. He said, “Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” If we pray with an eternal perspective, we need not wonder if our most tearful and heartfelt pleadings are heard."

I have been given these trials to give me experience, to make me a better mother, to prepare me to be sympathetic for others who go through the same things. They will be for my eternal good. What if I end up in some sort of leadership calling? (not an announcement or an invitation for a new calling please) I would need to be able to understand and effectively provide help and support. I certainly wouldn't wish my trials upon anyone else. I would never want another mother to have to lose a newborn and a pregnancy in 6 months. It's crappy. But, I'm not the first to experience these losses, and sadly, won't be the last.

But apparently, I can handle it. Apparently, I have been blessed with the strength that makes me capable of handling these particular trials. (Truly, not trying to sound like I'm bragging, just trying to make sense of it) What if this happened to someone else and they weren't able to keep an eternal perspective? What if instead of me, it happened to someone who would shut themselves off from Heavenly Father? How awful would it be if this broke them? I understand the blessings of the temple and the sealing power of the Priesthood. I know my family is forever. My trials are certainly difficult, but they will not break me. I won't let them.

"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end, they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." Mosiah 2:41

All the trials that have already come and will come in the future are shaping me into who I'm supposed to become. My trials have been such a source of strength for my testimony! Not before much testing and trying of course, but eventually.... I have grown closer to my Savior and my Heavenly Father because I've had to. More so, I've chosen to take that path. I could have gone off the deep end and let myself drown, but instead I reached out for the life support of the gospel.

A good friend posted this on her facebook a couple of weeks ago and it brought me a lot of comfort.

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland

I feel so lucky to have been blessed with the ability to keep an eternal perspective. I may not know exactly how things will work out in the eternities, but I just have to trust that they will, in fact, work out. Those who are given difficult trials, will be given the strength to withstand them. That's the perspective I have chosen to have and it has made all the difference.

It Got Worse

2011-08-03T12:24:00.000-07:00

I'll try to be delicate in this post, but just be warned, some things can't be rose-tinted.

Last Wednesday at my ultrasound, we found out the baby was measuring behind and there was no heartbeat. However, I had not actually miscarried yet. It's better in the medical/health sense for my body to miscarry on its own, without having to be pharmaceutically or surgically induced. So we were waiting to see what my body did. I had another doctor's appointment set for the next Tuesday. Over the weekend, I had started to miscarry on my own a little. Just some occasional light cramping and spotting.

Instead of going home Sunday night like we'd originally planned, we stayed at my parents into Monday so I wouldn't have to be home alone with Carrie in case something happened. On Monday around dinner time my cramps were severe enough that I would have to stop to take a few deep breaths during them. They were not unlike contractions (which makes sense), coming and going. Around 9pm, the official miscarriage was over. I went to bed about 11:15, knowing I would need to get up in the night to go to the bathroom.

I woke up about 1:45 and went into the bathroom. I was suddenly losing tons of blood and clots. Ridiculous amounts. After a couple of minutes I was feeling dizzy, weak, and then.... Nauseous. Nauseous like I'd never felt before. Luckily our bedroom at my parents house was the one right next to the bathroom. I quickly reached out into the hall to knock on the door very loudly and call out Justin's name with just enough time to turn back to the toilet and start violently throwing up. Which of course, made me start losing even more blood. So I sat back down and speed mumbled to Justin to grab me a bowl to throw up in. It. Was. Awful.

By the time things settled down a few minutes later, I was sweating like I'd just run a marathon and felt like I was about to pass out. My mom had heard me knock and yell for Justin and had come in to help. I was leaning on the counter trying to remember how to breath deeper than a gasp when I said, "I want to go to the hospital"....

I didn't think I could stand up to walk, even if my mom and Justin were fully supporting me so I crawled with them next to me until the top of the stairs where my dad and Justin gave me a quick blessing. My dad carried me down the stairs on his back and then picked me up to carry me to the car.

When we got to the ER, my mom ran inside to get a wheelchair. She told the nurse, "My daughter miscarried last night and now she's gushing blood and vomiting, I need a wheelchair!" The nurse came out to get me and as she was wheeling me inside, told the front desk clerk, "Register her". It was music to my ears. There would be no triaging.... I was getting admitted...

They checked vitals while they got me registered; My blood pressure had dropped to 84/50 and my oxygen kept falling to the high 60's, low 70's. I was starting to shake from the shock. They got an IV started and gave me some zofran for the nausea. Then they did what I consider to be a halfway D&C. I had no pain medication (my blood pressure was too low for that), but they were using monster q-tips and forceps with gauze to "clean things out" down there. It was extremely painful, but fortunately only lasted a few minutes.

I had an ultrasound which concluded that my miscarriage was complete I shouldn't have any more episodes of such extreme hemorrhaging or clots. My blood pressure never got any higher than 90/64 while I was there, but after just over 3 hours, they released me to go home. We got home at 5:30 am and went back to bed. Justin went into work a few hours late and my dad got up with Carrie so the rest of us could sleep. I didn't get up until almost 11:00, walked downstairs, flopped onto the couch and slept again until 2pm. My mom brought me and Carrie home just in time for me to go to my follow-up appointment with Justin.

My Hcg lab levels showed on Thursday morning: 3477, Monday afternoon: 1247, and Tuesday early morning: 793. The doctor said the levels dropping the way they were was reassuring that there isn't any tissue left, but I'll have to repeat my levels every week until they show less than 5. Seriously, I hope the worst is over. I'm feeling a little better today. I'm still ridiculously tired, but I'm up and moving around. My mom stayed the night and will be here all day today to take care of us.

Carrie was so excited that my mom was staying. We realized that my mom has put Carrie to bed here many times before, but she's always been gone by the morning. This morning when Carrie woke up, she was calling out for grandma. I went into her room, told her grandma was downstairs and then watched to make sure she got to the right room. My mom said she ran in, jumped up on the bed and squealed, "I just can't believe it! You're in my bed!!" It was really convenient to be so close to family this weekend.

Backtracking a bit, Monday right after dinner, Justin and I went to visit Brigham and take the new bouquets for his grave.

I sat down and started cleaning off his headstone like I always do when I noticed that all the headstones in babyland were very dirty. (Remember, babyland is like the little "gated community" in the cemetery for babies and small children) I think they'd recently come in with the lawn mower and weed whacker, and all the headstones were covered in dirt and grass clippings. I felt bad, I wanted them all to be clean and pretty :(

So I called my mom and suggested an FHE project for everyone. I had them bring brooms, wet rags, and a garbage bag. We picked up loose flowers and garbage from all over babyland, and swept off all the headstones and sidewalks. Most of the graves there have little toys or stuffed animals on them. We wiped them off, stood them up and made everything look nice and pretty.

It was a wonderful feeling to leave those graves looking so nice. Even if their families don't necessarily notice that someone cleaned them, I hope they notice the peaceful feeling that comes with cleanliness and order.

**A quick side story that inspired my cleaning idea: On Saturday we helped at a close friend's Eagle Project at the Mesa Cemetery cleaning headstones and taking pictures of them to be turned into some place that enters the records into computer databases. In our first few headstones, we came to the grave of a baby. I got down on my knees and started extra cleaning this one; Making sure all the long grass around it was picked and everything looked nice. I mentioned out loud that I was doing a little more because it was a baby one. My mom said, "Yeah, cuz we....." Then she suddenly stifled an "Oh my gosh" and a laugh. We were confused.... She was cracking up and finally told us, "I was about to say, 'Yeah, cuz we love dead babies!' " She realized how wrong that sounded, but we all thought it was entertaining since we knew what she really meant. :)

Anyways, we had a rough weekend, but also had a rewarding service project in the midst of it all. And truly, I've never felt so good about a service project as I did about cleaning those headstones in babyland. Go do something for a friend in need. It brings such a spirit of peace into your life that cannot be found any other way. We're in a tough place, but we're feeling pretty good for now. We have so many family and friends who love and support us and are praying for us. We can feel the Holy Ghost comforting us and we know everything will turn out for the best.

The Secret to Strength

2011-08-01T08:50:00.002-07:00

I've had several friends ask about, or comment on my strength through these tough trials this year. I've heard "How do you do it?" a lot. It's really not a big secret though.

*FAITH*

I could say it's that simple and be done, but I'm sure a lot of you would like me to elaborate.....

Here's an example of some of the comments I've received over the last several days:

-You are the rock that cannot be moved.
-You guys are strong enough, so you get the challenges and blessings that Heavenly Father has to offer.
-Only a wonderful person such as yourself could be faced with such sadness and still see the light at end of the tunnel.
-Keep your chin up and stay strong, you're good at that. Just keep enduring.
-Stay strong, you've been blessed with a sweet daughter, and you'll have more.
-You are such a strong woman and a testament of faith
-Your faith has inspired me and so many other, and most days, I don't know how you are so positive or can even get out of bed.
-You have amazing strength that I could learn from.
-Your amazing faith and understanding through all of this is a testimony builder for me.
-I love how you always keep an eternal perspective.
-You must have a reserve of strength to be able to handle things the way you do.
-You are such a wonderful example to me of faith in the Lord and his timing.
**And my favorite one from one of my cousins**
-If you get any stronger, I might suggest wearing a leotard and cape.

Anyways, the point of re-posting pieces of comments was to point out how many people seem to be amazed at us. And I'm definitely not trying to brag, I'm amazed that they feel that way!! There is nothing extraordinary about what we're doing! We're just regular people trying to get through life and the trials we've been given!

I've learned that nothing will get better if I throw myself into depression, become a hermit and quit trusting in Heavenly Father's plan for me. In fact, I know it would get worse.

My quickest explanation of how I get through things like this is easiest said in list form.
-I go to church
-I say my prayers
-I read my scriptures
-I count my blessings
-I put a smile on my face
-I don't deny my trials
-I cry because the loss is real
-I hug my husband
-I hug my daughter
-I spend time with friends
-I serve others
-I let others serve me

Basically I try to do the things I've already been taught to do my whole life. There are two things specifically on my list that I want to expand on a little. First, "putting a smile on my face". It's scientifically proven that just using the muscles that make a smile, even if you're actually in a bad mood, releases endorphins in your brain that increase happiness. You can be angry, grumpy, sad, whatever. If you put a smile on your face, even a fake one, your brain doesn't know the difference. It will help you feel better. I promise.

Secondly, the "serving others" part. We've always been taught that service makes you happy. On Friday I was skimming a magazine article at the doctor about how doing physical work with your hands, being productive, accomplishing things, and seeing the results actually triggers more "happy chemicals" in your brain. Our bodies are hard-wired to work. The author referenced "Little House on the Prairie", and how their family always seemed to be so happy and content with life. I know they're TV characters so they'll be whatever the writers tell them to be, but the point was, they worked with their hands. Our world has become so technologically involved that people hardly "work" anymore. So if you didn't believe what the Prophets and other church leaders have been saying forever, believe this scientific proof; SERVICE MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!

A couple weeks ago a friend somewhere referenced Elder Russel M. Nelson's most recent General Conference talk titled, "Face the Future with Faith". This weekend, I found the Conference Ensign and read his talk which can be found in full, here.

I picked out pieces though that I felt were really applicable and comforting to me. A lot of pieces....

"It is true. We live to die, and we die to live again. From an eternal perspective, the only death that is truly premature is the death of one who is not prepared to meet God"

"We do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith. Start with your children. You parents bear the primary responsibility to strengthen their faith. Let them feel your faith, even when sore trials come upon you. Let your faith be focused on our loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Teach that faith with deep conviction. Teach each precious boy or girl that he or she is a child of God, created in His image, with a sacred purpose and potential. Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed."

"Remember God's holy angels are ever on call to help us. The Lord so declared: 'I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.' What a promise! When we are faithful, He and His angels will help us."

"Unfailing faith is fortified through prayer. Your heartfelt pleadings are important to Him. Brothers and sisters, believe Him! God will heed your sincere and heartfelt prayers and your faith will be strengthened."

"Why do we need such resilient faith? Because difficult days are ahead. How you deal with life's trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth"

"Your rewards come not only hereafter. Many blessings will be yours in this life, among your children and grandchildren. You faithful Saints do not have to fight life's battles alone. Think of that! The Lord declared, 'I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save they children,' Later came this promise to His faithful people: 'I, the Lord, would fight their battles, and their children's battles, and their children's children's,... to the third and fourth generation.' "

"Our beloved President Thomas S. Monson has given us his prophetic witness. He said: 'I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments.' President Monson continued: 'My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.' "

"To President Monson's powerful declaration I add my own. I testify that God is our Father. Jesus is the Christ. His church has been restored to the earth. His truth, covenants, and ordinances enable us to overcome fear and face the future with faith! I so testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen."

My first Book of Mormon Professor at BYU-Idaho taught me a wonderful principle. Faith is not static. It's not something you can build to a certain level, walk away, and expect to find it the same when you come back later. Think of faith as being on a line between Heavenly Father and Satan. Satan will always be trying to pull us down. That's why if you're not working to grow it, it's shrinking. Heavenly Father certainly wants us to make the choices that will bring us closer to him, but he won't force us.

As we make the effort to strengthen our faith, it will become easier and easier. You cannot trust someone you don't know. Get to know your Heavenly Father and the Savior Jesus Christ. It's called the Plan of Happiness for a reason...

This is Definitely NOT Our Year...

2011-07-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

If you remember, last month at my first ultrasound appointment they found a blood-filled cyst on my left ovary. When I made my next regular appointment for 4 weeks later, they wanted to do a follow-up ultrasound to make sure the cyst had gone away. That appointment was yesterday. The good news is the cyst is gone. The bad news..... so is the baby.

When I was pregnant with Brigham, I had a doom and gloom feeling the whole time. Long before we knew he had any problems. I was always antsy and uneasy. When we found out about his defect, my doom and gloom feelings made more sense.

With this pregnancy I never had the doom and gloom feelings. Until yesterday. It was about noon, Carrie and I had just gone to see our weekly summer movie and were now browsing around Hobby Lobby. I suddenly felt awful, and had a horrible doom and gloom feeling. I knew something was not right. I was silently praying (almost chant-like) saying, "Heavenly Father, PLEASE let the baby be OK, please let it be OK". After a few minutes, when nothing was immediately proving doomy and gloomy, the feeling faded and I reassured myself with a reminder that I was going to see the doctor in a few hours for my regular appointment anyways.

Today, when I told my mom about this feeling I had, she suddenly remembered..... "Dad had a bad feeling too. Almost exactly at noon. He couldn't put a finger on who, or what his bad feeling was about, but he said out loud that something just felt wrong...Off.... Like something bad was going to happen. He felt physically sick."

Remember how I was annoyed that at my first ultrasound they said the baby only measured 6 weeks when my dates said I should have been 8 weeks? They moved my due date backwards and I grumbled..... Well, this time, by my original dates (which I'm absolutely sure about) I should have been 12 weeks at this appointment, or at least 10 weeks if we went by the first ultrasound's calculations. And the baby only measured 8 weeks.

The doctor explained that miscarriage, although still difficult to cope with, is not really all that uncommon. It is usually caused by a chromosomal abnormality that disallows the body to continue to grow and develop. The fact that the baby measure 8 weeks and "should have" measured 10 weeks lead her to the conclusion that the baby stopped growing 2 weeks ago. I have a different theory though. I was thinking about it last night in the absolute middle of the night when I woke up at 2:45am and couldn't fall back asleep for two hours.

It would have been impossible for me to have only been 6 weeks at the first ultrasound. The dates don't add up. My thinking is that whatever was wrong with the baby's body, caused it to grow at too slow a rate. In the first 8 weeks, it only grew 6 weeks worth. In the past 4 weeks, it only grew another 2 weeks worth. My thinking is that maybe the baby only died in the past few days; Or my latest theory (that has only been re-enforced by my dad's bad feeling coinciding with my bad feeling) is that the baby died only yesterday around noon.

The doctor had me get my Hcg levels drawn this morning, and we'll re-draw them on Monday to confirm that my hormones are decreasing and my pregnancy is no longer viable. Either way, there was no heartbeat in the ultrasound. I have another appointment on Tuesday and if I haven't miscarried on my own by then, we will likely plan a D&C (an outpatient procedure that "surgically miscarries" for me).

As for the likely chromosome abnormality with this baby, Justin and I both had a momentary flash of "Oh no. Could this be related to Brigham? Is there some genetic incompatibility between the two of us?" I quickly quieted those thoughts as I reminded myself that they suspected chromosome abnormalities with Brigham and did an amniocentesis to rule them out. AND BRIGHAM'S CHROMOSOMES WERE COMPLETELY PERFECT. He had absolutely nothing else wrong with his body but the hernia; And obviously, Carrie is perfect. It is not dangerous or even remotely discouraged for us to try to have more children. The stumbling blocks we've had have been completely random. We will have more children. We can both feel it.

We're having a rough time emotionally, as can be expected. Another thought that came to me last night was that yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of Brigham's death. I'm pretty sure 27 is my new un-favorite number. If I were superstitious, I would think that was eerie. Instead I think it's divinely coincidental.... I think more than mourning this actual baby, I'm mourning the loss of the chance to bring a baby home.

Like I was just whining about in my last post, I was ready to bring a baby home 6 months ago. I was already a little miffed about having to wait another 13 months to bring this baby home. Now, we've been encouraged by the doctor to wait at least 3 months before we try to get pregnant again. That means even if I can get pregnant immediately, it will be another year from now before we can expect to have another baby! 18 months after we "should have" brought Brigham home.

A smaller more selfish part of me is feeling annoyed because now I don't have a reason to have belly chub... Dumb, I know, but it's just another thing to add to my list. Now I still feel early-pregnancy (or postpartum) chubby, but I have neither a pregnancy or a cute new baby to show for it.

I've never really had a problem getting pregnant, but I think I'm starting to get a sense for what couples who struggle with infertility might feel like. I know it's a little different, but I understand wanting a baby and not getting one (or in Brigham's case, not getting to keep him here). I think we've had more than our fair share of tragedies with our children this year (Knock. On. Wood.)

Thank Heaven for Carrie. I don't know how I would have handled this year without her. And of course, Justin has been amazing through all of this. I've loved to see him grow and develop as a father and be supportive and sympathetic (because he's not actually experiencing the physical pregnancies) and empathetic (because he's certainly experiencing the losses with me). We know we'll be OK, but I'm getting a smidgen sick of OK. I want to be GREAT even if it's just for a little while.

Quarter

2011-07-26T11:49:00.001-07:00

Today I am finally 10 weeks! A quarter of the way through my pregnancy! I've been teased for "celebrating" this minor milestone with my other two pregnancies, but this time it's different.

Hopefully it hasn't shown too much on here, but I've been a little crankier than normal with this pregnancy. I feel fine, I'm not sick, mostly just a little tired, and overall I don't mind being pregnant. (I might even be teetering toward enjoying it). But I've realized a combination of things that have made this pregnancy seem to draaaggggg already.

First, I wished I had been able to get pregnant right away after Brigham died. But it took 4 months.... Not forever long, but too long for me. Even then, being pregnant again only 4 months after having Brigham gave me pretty much no time to get rid of my baby weight before I started it up again. So I feel huge for 10 weeks. I'm pretty sure I look the same now as I did at 17 weeks with Brigham. See for yourself.

This is today, baby #3, at 10 weeks:
And this was Brigham at 17 weeks......
Second, At my first ultrasound appointment they measured the baby and moved my due date backwards by 12 days! Which means I feel like right now I should be 12 weeks, not just barely 10. This also means that miraculously, my home pregnancy test picked up enough Hcg hormone at 2 weeks to show a positive result. Technically not possible. I shouldn't have been able to know I was pregnant then. (I'm still trying to figure this one out. I'm going to bring it up at the doctor tomorrow)

Third, (and what I feel is the biggest thing), I feel like I'm going to be pregnant for-ev-er.... I got pregnant with Brigham immediately after we moved into this house last April.

Everything was so crazy in his short life it kind of seems like a dream! I never got the full reality of being pregnant, having the baby, bringing him home, bathing him, feeding him, cuddling him, having him become a part of our family's home life routine....

We were ready to have a newborn in our house in January of this year, but we never got to bring him home. By the time I get to actually bring a new baby home, we'll be just a few weeks shy of living here for two years! Hence, this pregnancy feels like an extension of Brigham's pregnancy and I feel like I should be monumentally further along than 10 weeks!!

Anyways, enough whining. Happy thoughts. I'm beyond thrilled to be having another baby soon. And I'm sure it really will fly by and be February before I know it. (right???.....)

So Much Cuter When You're Two

2011-07-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

There are several cute, short, quotable stories about Carrie at the end of the post, but first a couple quick stories from when Justin and I were kids.

Justin broke his leg falling off a table in nursery at church when he was two. He had a whole leg cast that he used to swing around and hit his sisters with. If he were to do something like that now, it would just be mean! But because he was two, it was really cute! (Although still mean.)

When I was two, I was waiting at the hospital with my grandma when my little sister was born. I had been playing with some toys in the waiting area and my grandma said, "OK it's time to go. I'll count to 20 while you clean up the toys." Apparently I turned to her and said, "No, I'll count to 20 and you clean up the toys."
How rude right?! I'm the one that made the mess! But because I was such a smarty pants, my grandma couldn't help but smile and clean up the toys while I counted.

Two year olds are just cute. And sometimes the funny things they say are enough to make you laugh until you cry.

My current favorite example, my own two year old. (surprised?)

Carrie: (Lays down on the family room floor) "I'm going to take a rest with my blankets"
Justin: (Trying to help) "Do you need a pillow?" (Waves one in the air)
Carrie: "Ummm.... No"
Justin: (had already started to throw the pillow towards her)
Carrie: (throws the pillow back toward Justin) "I said NO! I DON'T need it! I'm FRUSTRATED! You need to LISTEN to me!!!"

Me: "Carrie, it's time for dinner!"
Carrie: (runs over to the table and looks in her bowl) "Ooooo, is this mac 'n' cheese?"
Me: "Well, it's kind of like mac 'n' cheese. It's called stroganoff"
Carrie: "Oh! Hi stroganoff! Nice to meet you! I'm going to eat you OK?!" (takes a huge bite)

Carrie: (to her baby doll Wren) "You have to tell me when you need to go potty OK?"

Me: "Carrie, please come put your shoes on, it's time to go to Walmart"
Carrie: "OK, but first, I have a question"
Me: "OK, what's your question?"
Carrie: (whispering) "I love you"

Carrie: (being very grumpy in the cart at walmart)
Me: "Carrie I need you to have a happy face please."
Carrie: "NO! No happy face!!" (huge grumpy face instead)
Me: "Well where did it go?"
Carrie: (still with a frown on her face and in her voice) "I think it ran away!... Yeah, my happy face ran away!"

Today she introduced me to her new (imaginary) pet dog named Ruffie. Aparently, she's pink all over and says "ruff, ruff".

Lastly, a few more cute things with pictures to go along with them. We painted toenails yesterday and this picture is proof that Carrie has been well trained in the art of blowing the paint dry before she gets up to play.

Pulling all the cushions off the living room couch is one of her new favorite things to do and it's driving me a little bit crazy, but look how cute she is all snuggled up inside....

I saved an empty paper towel roll yesterday and gave it to her to be a "binocular". She tried to look through it with both eyes by putting it on the bridge of her nose.

When I tried to teach her how to look through with only one eye, she couldn't keep only the one eye open, so we taught her how to hold the other one shut. Looks silly, but it worked! I'm sure I looked ridiculous trying to show her how, but she just looks cute. Even with her hair sticking up all over the place from her time between the couch cushions. It's amazing!

In the Car

2011-07-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

Because I can, here's a couple quick pics from our trip into town last night.

Carrie is still not a good napper and it shows every once in a while. At 5:30 yesterday while we were driving into Mesa she fell asleep in the car. In perfect sunbathing position. ;)

And since I already had the camera out, I decided to try to get a cute picture of us. I guess this is close enough..... :)

When we were almost all the way back home, a motorcycle pulled up to a light a couple of lanes over. It had glowing green lights in all the undercarriage stuff. It looked so cool! I tried to take a picture, but the light changed and I didn't have time to switch my settings on the camera to "it's really dark outside". I tried to snap a quick pic anyways, and got this.

Because it was so dark, the shutter stayed open for a really long time and captured all the lights in motion. I think I've found a fun new way to play with my camera!

Sticky Stuff

2011-07-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

Carrie really likes stickers. I usually stick to my rule (no pun intended) that she can only get 3 off the page at a time, so she won't use them all up at once. Well yesterday I wasn't looking and she did this.
Stickers all over her foot and leg. I thought it kind of looked like she had a cast. :) She was so proud of herself and her "art project".

I know I always write about how much of a girly girl she is, but on the other end of the spectrum, she LOVES playing with cars! She has several little toy cars that she drives all over the house. Up and down the legs of the kitchen table is her favorite spot to go cruising. Soon after the sticker project, she told me that Lightning McQueen wanted to have his picture taken..... OK......

While she was playing cars, I was busy making cupcakes for my friend's baby shower. And just in case you were wondering, one box of cake mix makes 64 mini cupcakes. Sixty..... Four..... Holy moly, I didn't know what I was going to do with so many cupcakes!!! We were only expecting about 20 people at the baby shower! I decorated 40 of them as cute little lions.

And decorated the leftover 24 as little "shirt 'n' tie" combos. Yesterday and today Justin and his coworkers had to wear ties to work rather than just the usual polo and slacks. So I decided to give them a little chocolate treat for having to dress up on casual Friday.

It was fun to do, but very tedious! I know they're not perfect, but seriously, look at the detail! And keep in mind these are mini cupcakes. Very small.....

We Love Cookies!

2011-07-20T12:28:00.001-07:00

I'm a sucker for cookie dough.... It's just too good to pass up. Chocolate chip especially. With semi-sweet chocolate chips. NOT milk chocolate. Justin and Carrie sure enjoy it when I make cookie dough too. Yummy ;)
My favorite chocolate chip recipe makes about 9 dozen cookies at a time. So when I make a batch I scoop all the dough out and put the dough balls in the freezer. Once they're frozen I put them all in a gallon bag and I can make cookies whenever I want without having to do the whole process! (This is my "leftovers" after I baked up 30 cookies....)

Carrie also discovered a new way to play with her alphabet puzzle. Who needs to match the letters up in the right spot? Making a tower is way cooler!! I'm pretty sure this picture was taken before the cookie dough incident. Otherwise I think the sugar rush might have messed with her stacking abilities!

Party Weekend

2011-07-17T13:16:00.001-07:00

We've had quite a fun filled weekend so far! Friday afternoon, a friend called me to see if I could sub for her Bunco group that night. I'm so glad I went! It was a lot of fun! The theme of the night was anything asian. There were little paper lanterns hung all over, egg rolls to munch on and dessert sushi. Rice krispie treats and a swedish fish wrapped in a piece of fondant and little cinnabon rollls wrapped in fondant and topped with coconut and little pieces of tootsie rolls! Creative huh?!

Saturday morning I was up early to go set up for our ward water party. (The Primary presidency was in charge of organizing this activity). We played water kickball with little kiddie pools full of water for the bases and a slip-n-slide into home plate! And to make it even better, the sprinklers turned on on the field right as we started to play!
We also tried to play water volleyball. We had teams of two people holding a towel and trying to fling water balloons over the net to teams on the other side... It didn't work very well. We learned it's really more of a game for teenagers or adults. Kids don't quite have to coordination or speed to make it work. But it was fun to watch them try!

Carrie liked being the "re-loader". She'd run to the bucket of water balloons, grab one and go put it in our friends' Tom and Stephan's towel.

Then it was launch time!

We had also set up some relay games, but they never really got organized enough to play. The kids just had fun playing with giant sponges in the buckets of water.

When we were all tired out, we munched on otter pops and watermelon. Perfect on a hot day!

Yummy yummy!!

When we got home around 11:00, we ate lunch and napped for almost 4 hours! I don't think Carrie ever actually fell asleep, but she played in her room for a long time while Justin and I napped. It was wonderful! We were too lazy to do anything for dinner so we grabbed some Sonic coupons and ate out. We rented the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens" and had a campout pajama/movie party in the family room.

Carrie was snuggling (smothering) daddy and asked me to take a picture ;)

We had a lot of fun and it's nice to have had a break from the craziness so far today. Thank goodness for the "day of rest"! Justin has the day off tomorrow because he has to work over the weekend, so tomorrow our weekend continues! We're excited to have him home for an extra day! It should be fun, but hopefully it won't be quite so busy! ;)

Playing With the Camera

2011-07-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, (seemingly random to me), Carrie will ask me to take her picture. She usually has a specific toy she wants in the picture with her, or a specific place she wants to sit. More often than not, that place is the stairs; I have no idea why.

Anyways, today she was using her vivid imagination telling me there was a tiger in our kitchen and we should go see it. Apparently it was a friendly tiger because she asked me to take her picture with it. She sat on the kitchen floor, motioned to the imaginary tiger to come sit next to her and said, "Cheese!!"
Then she wanted pictures with Mommy in them too. After the first several "regular smiley face" picture attempts failed, I suggested we make a silly face and stick out our tongues.

I love taking pictures with my silly, happy, imaginative, wonderful girl!!

An example of her complete adorable-ness; As I'm typing this, she's plunking out random notes on the piano and singing "Happy Birthday" to her Lightning McQueen toy car.... :)

Mini-Mommy

2011-07-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

Carrie copies EVERYTHING I do. And for the most part, it's dang cute :)

My favorite is when she's playing with her baby dolls; Changing their "PeeeeUuuuu stinky" diapers, swaying and bouncing with them when they're "crying", or feeding them lunch.

This morning Carrie asked me for help with these baby dolls getting their bibs on. Then she took them into the kitchen and I didn't see what she did with them. Until about 10 minutes later.....
Four baby dolls sitting in her booster seat, bibs on, and play food ready to eat. I love it!

And not long after that she stopped in the middle of doing a puzzle, looked over at me and said, "I'm tired. I need a break. I'm going to take a rest on the couch."
Though she didn't actually fall asleep, it was still cute. And sadly, she has learned this from me. Most days around 10am, I'm so tired, I tell her I need to take a rest for a bit while she plays. I usually don't fall asleep either, but I'm too tired to do much else but sit there and watch her play for about an hour. I haven't thrown up anymore lately, so that's been nice, but holy moly, I'm sure tired!

Crafty Baby Things

2011-07-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my sister's baby shower. She had asked me to make her crib bedding for her and I just kept putting it off. I finally got all the fabric about a month ago and started actually working on it about 2 weeks ago, for about a day. Then I got tired and lazy and didn't do anything else until Friday. That's right. The day before the shower.... I worked on it all day Friday. Carrie and I were in pajamas all day, I wasn't wearing any makeup, didn't put my contacts in.... Nothing. But look what I got done!

This is the detail from the bottom of the nursing cover. She's having a boy, but I tried to make it gender neutral so she can use it for a girl too in the future.

A diaper and wipes case. Very handy when you're out and about, it holds a little travel sized wipes thing and about 3 diapers. It really makes the diaper bag more organized!

Three little owls art project. I was so excited for this! I knew I would have scraps left over from the bedding so I planned out this project. I was nervous because I didn't know if she would like the owl idea, but she loved it! So darn cute! And easy too! I drew my own little pattern, cut out pieces and glued them on!

At about 4pm, I decided to start a quilt. I'm crazy, I know. It was on my "maybe" list of bedding to do. Of course I didn't just go with an easy pattern of 16 or 20 plain old squares like I usually do.... I don't know what got into me, but I pulled out graph paper and started drawing up this semi-crazy, very piecey pattern. I'm so proud of myself though! I stayed up until 1am finishing it. It's by far, the coolest looking quit I've ever made. I told Justin I was going to have a hard time giving it away. He assured me that now this would just be motivation to make even cooler ones for our own kids.

At the shower, we played baby Scattergories, The Price is Right, and a Nursery Rhyme guessing game. Carrie had fun playing with another little girl named Mia. Mostly ring-around-the-rosie.

At one point after "they all fell down", and Carrie jumped up to play again, Mia asked, "How many times do we have to do this?" But she kept playing anyways. It was hilarious....

A random quirky thing Carrie likes to do when she's coloring with markers.... Take off all the lids, color, and when she's done, match them up with their lids one by one. She's actually very good at matching them though!

When I told Carrie it was time to go home after the shower was over, she said with a sad frown, "Noooo, I want to stay at grandma's". My mom said that would be fine, so Carrie said, "I love you Mommy! Bye bye!", and she stayed there. My mom is bringing her home tomorrow. As for us, we enjoyed a "night out" last night at KFC, Redboxed "The Switch" and enjoyed Sacrament Meeting peacefully today. I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow :)

Half

2011-07-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

Brigham would have been 6 months old today. Half a year..... Where did the time go? It feels like just a couple weeks ago, and at the same time, it feels like it's been years. When I was still pregnant with him I wondered about what he'd look like. The image in my head was always of a chubby little 6 month old with spiky blond hair. Although I didn't get to see him at 6 months old, at least I was right about the spiky blond hair. It kind of feels like I always knew that would be how he would look though, not a guess......

Carrie and I wore our "Mack" shirts today to celebrate his half birthday.

We miss him, but I know he's doing great things in Heaven. And I'm sure he's also prepping this new baby and our other future children to come into our family. What a marvelous trial and blessing he was and is for our family....

Check Out That Haboob!

2011-07-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

Haboob: huh-boob
Strong wind that is usually associated with large sandstorms and duststorms and may be accompanied by thunderstorms. It is most common during the summer, and may blow from any direction. A haboob may transport huge quantities of sand or dust, which move as a dense wall that can reach a height of about 3,000 feet.

I did not make up that word. It's real. Last night was the most MASSIVE dust storm I've ever seen in my life! Reports were it was 50 miles wide, 3/4 mile tall and was traveling at 55 miles per hour..... The picture above is one I found off the internet of somewhere up in Phoenix. I didn't actually see "the wall", but we certainly saw the storm.

We have a couple of empty trash barrels outside for composting and when the wind started to blow, they were falling over and threatening to fly away. Justin went outside to put a shovel in each of them to keep them grounded.
Just a couple of minutes later, it looked like this. Super dark and super dusty. I sent Justin outside again (this time with sunglasses and a dishrag over his face) to reinforce our Brigham tree. The poor thing was shaking side to side like crazy! I know you probably can't even really see Justin or the tree because the dust is that thick. But I was standing safely inside, I wasn't brave enough to venture into the "haboob".
This is what our front entry looked like. We had the front door open for about 6 seconds very early in the storm to take our decorative sign off the door. I set my phone down on the shelf and in those few seconds, the dust left a lovely film all over. (Can you see the semi-clean spot where my phone was sitting?)
Even with the door closed, teeny little leaks in our seal let in a thin layer of dust all over our entryway. I can't believe how much got in! I'm happy to report that the Brigham tree survived just fine and the storm passed after only about 45 minutes. We even got a spattering of rain for a few minutes once the dust died down.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm happy and unhappy to report that Carrie is back in diapers. She hasn't had much success since her little glory moment on Sunday, and I'm just done for a while. I need to figure out what step we missed to help her be the one who calls for the potty runs, not me. She was well trained in going to the bathroom when I told her to, but not well trained in going when her body told her she needed to. I need a little break. So far today, it's been wonderful. She's told me once that she needed to go, so I took her. Otherwise, I'm not feeling like my life is controlled by the clock, how long it's been since she last went, wondering if she'll have an accident before I take her again?...... So..... I'm not sure when I'll be done with my break, but for now, it's nice to relax a little.

Freedom to Wear Beautiful Dresses

2011-07-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

Happy belated Independence Day everyone! We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast (pillsbury style, not homemade, but still yummy). Justin went out at 6am with our Brother-in-Law Brandon to play golf. They played 18 holes in just over two hours and ended up in a tied score.

My parents wanted to take our family to go see the movie 17 Miracles. It's about the Martin and Willie Handcart companies of Mormon Pioneers crossing the plains. In one of the previews my mom saw there was a line that was almost quoted from our family history. We have ancestors who came in those companies with some pretty miraculous stories. We don't know for sure if that mini story in the movie came from our ancestors, but it was fun to think about.

Anyways, back to going to the movies. It's not playing in many theaters, and even then, not that often. We had friends who went to see it on Saturday. They were 30 minutes early and had to sit on the front row. So to be safe, we showed up an hour early. We got there at 12:20 for the 1:15 showing. It was SOLD OUT. And the 4:20 showing? SOLD OUT. And the 6:30 showing? 77% SOLD OUT. At noon! So we didn't get to see that movie but instead, went to see "Larry Crowne". It was pretty good. Nothing amazing, but nothing to complain about. :)

We went swimming, had a BBQ, yummy cupcakes and tried to head home before it got too late. All in all, a fun weekend, but it's good to be home.

Onto the part about beautiful dresses. A couple weeks ago we were at a friends house and Carrie was playing dress up with a few other little girls. This morning she told me, "Mommy, I want to wear my Cinderella shoes and a beautiful dress". Therefore, picture time.

"Look how beautiful I am!"

Posing for the camera like a real supermodel. Complete with the no-smile face.

Of course, then she wanted to take a picture too. Our camera is a little heavy for such a tiny girl though. We'll have to work on her picture taking skills ;)

I Thought It Would Never Happen!

2011-07-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!!! Carrie had a #2 success on the potty!!!

Sorry if you think that's gross to announce, but seriously, it's been 4 weeks and this is the first time!

My mom had read something about one mom who told her potty-training son that when he went on the potty, and flushed it, it went down to feed the fishies. My mom took Carrie to the bathroom before bed just now and asked her if she wanted to feed the fishies and Carrie said yes! Hallelujah! There was a LOT of squealing, hugs, high fives, and victory ice cream!

And as long as I'm blogging, here's a cute picture of Justin and Carrie snuggling for Sunday afternoon naptime. It would have been cuter if Carrie had actually gone to sleep, but hey, it was cute for the 10 seconds of pretending....

Weekend Break

2011-07-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today we went with my family up to Snowflake for my grandpa's 80th birthday party. The ride up started pretty bad; Bush highway. If you don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky. I hate that road. It's up and down and windy for a looooong time. I felt carsick almost the whole way. I'm sure being pregnant made it much worse, but anyways, I was glad when we were finally there.

The party was a blast! Ok, not quite a blast, but interesting to see so many old pictures of my grandpa throughout his life and meeting and re-meeting many elderly aunts, uncles, cousins and friends of my grandpa. Carrie had a good time with my cousin Tessa who is a few months younger than her. Tessa didn't necessarily appreciate the hugs as much as Carrie enjoyed giving them though.....

We got the scenic guided tour of the town where my dad grew up. The house he lived in as a kid, his high school, his little league field, the church building he went to. It was pretty fun.

The best part of the whole trip was it was about 88 degrees in Snowflake. Awesome. The Phoenix Valley had a record high for the date at 118 degrees..... It's just wrong. I love Arizona, but that's stinking hot!

A couple of hours after we got back home (to my parents, we're staying here this weekend), I felt sick enough to throw up. It was awful. I threw up a few times with Carrie, and never with Brigham. Afterward, I came down the stairs, flopped on the couch and said, "I think it's a girl...." I guess we'll find out in a few months. Fortunately I'm feeling a little better now. It's definitely time for bed though.

Glitches

2011-06-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm having a little bit of a rough day. I went to the doctor today for my first ultrasound. The baby looked fine, the heartbeat was great..... But they told me I'm really due 12 days later than originally calculated.... Seriously? February 9th is already really far away..., now my new due date is February 21st. Not the kind of thing a pregnant woman wants to hear. Anyways, here's a picture of the little bean. Although it's not even quite big enough to resemble a bean yet. More like a grain of rice. It's the little white smudge the arrow is pointing at.

And I can't believe I almost forgot. Another glitch we found out in the ultrasound. I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. And it's filled with blood. Super... The doctor said it wasn't a huge deal, but they want to keep an eye on it to make sure it goes away instead of growing. Small bright side, I get to have another ultrasound at my next appointment in 4 weeks. I love ultrasounds :)

And it's been almost a whole month of potty training Carrie so far. A week or two ago, I was trying to reassure Justin that it takes kids a long time to FULLY grasp the idea and be 100% trained. I don't know though. I think I was fooling myself a little. It's getting old. It's like we skipped a step somewhere in the process, but we don't know what. It's almost clicking. But almost doesn't clean up the messes. I do.

I'm feeling tired and hormonal. I regret that I haven't been teaching piano lessons for the past 6 years. What a waste. I made decent money in High school teaching, but since moving away for college, I've moved 8 times. Eight. I'm mostly lazy, but my excuse is that I haven't been able to establish a good base for gathering students. And now the economy is lame and people don't want to fork out $50 a month for their kid to learn to play the piano.

Speaking of a lame economy, Justin has been hard at work looking for a job. He still has his Job at the University of Phoenix, and we're BEYOND grateful for it. It has provided for our family very well the last year and a half; even allowed me to be a full time stay-at-home-mom, but it's getting old. He's on the phone all day calling people who don't want to talk to him, working with people who don't understand what it means to be a grown-up, and mostly, just isn't doing what he wants to be doing.

He had a great job interview last week that sounded really interesting and promising. (To tell you the truth, I don't remember what it was about) The downside was, training was completely unpaid. They basically told him he needed to have 3 months worth of savings to live off of until he started to make money. Unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of that much savings. I wish. And so the job hunt continues.

On days like today when I'm feeling low, I try to remember to count my blessings. Although I don't think I can count that high....

Snoozed....

2011-06-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

This morning we were trying to hurry to be ready for church in time, especially since I got a phone call last night reminding me I was playing the organ today. I had already showered, but I knew Carrie really needed a bath before we left. This is how the conversation went when I went into her room to wake her up.

Me: (Sneaking around the room getting her clothes ready for the day, not sneaky enough, Carrie wakes up) "Good Morning Sweetie!"

Carrie: ............. (with lazy eyes and a slightly grumpy look)

Me: "How did you sleep?"

Carrie: "Hmmmpppffff......" (rolls over to hide her face from me)

Me: (walks over to sit on her bed and rub her back) "It's time to get up and get ready for church."

Carrie: (picks her face up out of the pillow and glares at me) "Mommy. Get. Out." (Re-plants face in pillow)

Me: "OK sweetie, you can sleep for a couple more minutes. I'll come back." (What I'm really thinking is, "WHAT THE?!?!?!, Did my toddler just snooze me?!")

This behavior is faaaar to teenaged for my taste! What a drama queen! Good thing it was cute!

Bzzzzz......... Stung!

2011-06-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

We were invited to come along with some friends to the pool this morning. Some of the kids had their last day of swimming lessons and I wanted to check out the teacher and see if she was offering a second session. We swam with the littler kids while the older ones were having their lessons.

After lessons were over, we spent a few more minutes playing in the pool, and noticed a bee floating in the water close to us. Some of the kids were scared, so I tried to grab a scoop of water and fling the bee out of the pool. It didn't work. And I. Got. Stung.

I've never been stung by a bee before, so I wasn't really sure what to expect. I learned quickly though, that it's called a sting for a reason; it really stung! Right after I tried to fling it out, but got stung instead, we noticed 3 other half dead bees sitting by the edge of the pool. We decided this was the tipping point at the end of our swimming trip and it was time to go home.

As we were drying off and gathering our things, it started to throb and ache. I know very little about bee stings, but I thought I remembered it being important to get the stinger out. I didn't want to do something wrong though, so I left it until we got home.

After googling it, I learned that the point of getting the stinger out quickly is to prevent venom from continuing to seep into the skin in the first few minutes. Which I did not. My hand got a teeny bit puffy about an inch around the sting, but other than that, the pain subsided significantly after only a few minutes and now it's completely gone.

The worst part? In all of our hullabaloo, we forgot to ask the teacher if she was teaching a second session that we could sign Carrie up for. At least we had a fun morning swimming with friends.

On the positive side, I was trying to get Carrie to blow bubbles and kick her feet, and she did pretty well. I think with a few swimming lessons she'd be swimming champ in no time!

Now, some semi-old pictures (two weeks ago-ish) that I just forgot to post.

This has become Carrie's swimming hair-do. Diagonal part, two french braids. It keeps her hair out of her face, is super cute, and pretty easy to do if I turn on Mickey Mouse first ;)

Bundled up pool-side

Laying out, catching some rays

Jamming out on Guitar Hero.

Just plain being cute. I'm not sure what it is, but I think she looks so grown up in this picture. Kind of makes me wonder what she'll look like in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years etc....

Are You Ready? One.. Two.. THREE!!!

2011-06-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Are you really ready?.... Are you sure?...... OK, here goes.....

................................................................

WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!!

WOOHOO!! BABY #3 IS ON IT'S WAY!!

.........................................
A fun little story: Justin's family figured it out on their own so we didn't get to tell them in a fun way. We were on our family reunion trip when we found out. I had purposely not taken a pregnancy test with me to force myself to be patient and wait until we got home. It didn't work. Early Saturday morning, I got too antsy and said we needed to go to the store to get a test. We were all double parked so we needed to move Justin's sister Alysha's car. When she asked what we needed at the store, I guess I didn't fib well enough with "Ummmm, I'll tell you later".

As soon as we got back from the store, I took the test and it was positive, Hooray!! Immediately, when I went upstairs Alysha and Danielle called me over, cornered me and asked, "Are you pregnant?"... I couldn't lie..... So I told them. And I told Justin I had told them, so somehow when he was talking to his other sister, Brooke, he told her. And as Brooke put it, it was the elephant in the room. Somehow, nobody said anything, but EVERYBODY knew!

I swore them all to secrecy for two whole weeks though, so we could do THIS:

I wanted to do something fun to tell someone! I made a t-shirt for my dad for Father's Day from all the grandkids. Even the one they didn't know about yet. (See the tiniest handprint with a ? in it?) We had my whole family gathered and as he unwrapped the shirt, one by one we could tell by their faces who was figuring it out.

I'm due February 9th, 2012. (Which means right now I'm 6 1/2 weeks along) I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I know exactly how they calculate due dates. I'll bet myself $5 I'm right on....

We're so excited to have another little one coming into our family soon! And on a side note, I've been randomly asking Carrie for the past two weeks if this baby is a boy or a girl, brother or sister. Every time, she's answered girl/sister.... We'll see if she's right!

Bring On the Playtime!

2011-06-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

What a fun day we've had! Last night and this morning, Justin reffed some summer league high school basketball games. He's wishing he hadn't spent so much time on the treadmill at the gym at work on Friday because his knee is bothering him now, but that's the price of "old age". (I'm just kidding honey, you're not old by any means!! Well, except maybe the fact that you go to bed at 8:30, but that doesn't count)

This morning we got to go to a birthday party for Carrie's friend Shea. It was at the Gilbert Splash pad and the kids had a blast! Everyone got a plastic cup to play in the water with. Carrie liked to put it on top of the sprayers when no water was coming up, turn and run like she'd just dropped a grenade and turn back around just in time to see the water squirt up and pick her cup off the ground!
There were plenty of kids there, I just happened to catch this picture when all the other kids were out of view. I thought it was a little bit artistic. Maybe I'm just silly...
We ate popsicles, juice boxes and rice crispies as part of the celebration. We were definitely sun-tired by the time we got home.

So after a little afternoon nap (which was VERY forced by mommy and daddy), we all went out to OrganStop Pizza! As we discussed as a family, we figured out it's been 10 years since we've been here. TEN YEARS! How? I don't know, but I passed it on the way home from the birthday party and thought, "Oooo, Carrie would LOVE that place!" So Grandma and Grandpa treated us to yummy pizza and awesome entertainment.
Carrie's favorite was the employee dressed as a storm trooper. It was incredibly random, and as I'm thinking about it now, I wonder if it was really an employee or just a very bored person trying to make a Saturday night more interesting. But anyways, it stood on the staircase all night dancing along with the organ songs; Which were INCREDIBLE, by the way!
Grandpa took Carrie for a "walk" around the place after we ate. She was so excited to wave to us from the balcony!

My Ode to Dads

2011-06-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day weekend everyone! Since the weekend will be full of family activities, I thought I'd do an early appreciation post for the Fathers in my life.

First of all, most obviously, there's my own dad. I remember him scooping us ice cream, telling us jokes, and just being overall awesome as I was growing up. He is an even "awesomer" grandpa. Almost always, the first thing Carrie asks for when we come to my parents' house is for grandpa to take her to the park. And he does. Sometimes for hours at a time. I'm sure if I took her, after about 20 minutes, I'd get antsy and make her come home, but he doesn't. They play for.ev.er....

Sadly, I never really "ran to him" when I had a problem as a teenager, but I realize now I should have. Our personalities are very alike. Our brains work the same way. I LOVE that I inherited his creativity. For example, we both love drawing up house blueprints, just for fun. We love playing brain games that challenge our ability to think outside the box. One of my favorite memories with my dad from high school is him helping me add sleeves to my Winter Formal dress Junior year. That's right. Not my mom, my dad. He has the ability to take the picture in his brain and make it happen in real life. I only wish I had inherited his singing voice, because it's absolutely beautiful. I love to hear my dad sing!

(Me and my daddy on the day I graduated college in December 2007)

Then there's Justin's dad. It's taken a few years, but when we're all together, I just call him dad too. I've only known him for a little over 5 years, but he's always been great. He always has good advice, but respects our space and lets us make our own decisions. He is so incredibly knowledgeable about the church that I occasionally feel like I haven't learned anything in all my years of Primary and Sunday School. He has fantastic integrity and is always looking out for his family's best interest. And I've never seen a Papa get down on the floor and play with his grandkids as much as Earl does. If the kids are around, he's playing with them, and strangely, it usually involves some kind of growling.... ;)

(Me and Earl on my college graduation day) ** Sorry for the old pictures, sadly they're the only ones I could really find of me with each of them!

And finally, where do I begin on this guy?First of all, oober hot picture, just sayin'...... Moving on. To me, Justin is the most important Father I know. Without him, I wouldn't be a Mother. Therefore, he gets 1st place.

Justin is so incredible with Carrie. He'll tickle her, swing her upside down, and throw her in the air (wow, that actually sounds a little "violent", but anyways, she LOVES it!) Anytime she hears the air conditioner kick on, she thinks it's the garage, gets excited and screams, "DADDY'S HOME!!" I feel bad having to tell her daddy won't be home for a few more hours, but it makes it even better when I can say, "YES! That IS the garage!" :) He helps me stay calm when I'm about to lose my cool. He reminds me that our little family is the most important thing in the whole world to him.

He goes to work every single day because he knows that's his job. And obviously, yes, it's his vocation-job, but that's not what I mean. He realizes that his role in life is to provide for our family and be a strong Priesthood leader in our home. I know he doesn't like waking up early and sitting at a desk on the phone all day, but he still does it. I'm sure he doesn't enjoy taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn (especially when it's HOT outside!), but he still does it. I know being "the grown-up" man responsible for a family can be stressful, but he still does it. And he's terrific at it.

We make a pretty good team. When we found out about Brigham's birth defect (months before he was born), we banded together even more. Our marriage was strengthened through that trial, where others could have easily crumbled. He has been such a support to me for as long as I've known him.

One night when we were brand-newlywed he said, "Sweet dreams my Queen" at bedtime, and he's said it every night since. He told me early on in our relationship that he has reserved the word "gorgeous" for me. There will never be any other person, or thing (including pickup trucks ;) ) that will ever be gorgeous. It's my word. And I LOVE that. He makes me feel special, even when I feel awful. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. And very often, he makes me swoon.

I AM SO BLESSED to have so many wonderful Fathers in my life! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

Growing Up

2011-06-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

Carrie's getting so grown up! First of all, potty training is going great! We're still working on the #2 part, but she's got #1 down! Even in just the last couple of days she's made huge progress in being the "instigator" of potty trips. Rather than me constantly asking her and taking her, she tells me she needs to go, so we go. It's awesome! This picture shows how she taught herself to reach the sink to wash her hands. It's adorable, but only because I'm standing right by her making sure she doesn't slip :)

Sometimes growing up is hard to do.... For mommy. Carrie is pretty much done with naps. Ever since the binkies have gone away, so has naptime. She'll nap maybe twice a week. If I'm lucky. Therefore, we have started "quiet time". During her normal naptime in the afternoon, we'll go into her room, turn on only a lamp, not the overhead light and do quiet activities like puzzles or read an exorbitant amount of books. Occasionally, quiet time will end in a nap, but so far we have a losing record... I'm hopeful, however, that if we keep up with quiet time, she'll maybe get back into the swing of naps; at least ever other day.
And randomly, because it was so cute.... Last night I woke up around midnight and went to take Carrie in to the bathroom. In the dark, I almost passed right by her though. The loft is between our room and her room, and sometime in the night, she decided to go sleep on the couch. It was so cute. And luckily, she did not "pee the couch" (you know, like "pee the bed"?.....) Actually, she's only peed the bed twice in the two weeks we've been at potty training. Keep it up Carrie!

Princess Overload!

2011-06-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

Since our DVD of Cars has been scratched beyond watchability, Carrie has moved on to a few other movies. Stuck in a tie for her favorite are Sleeping Beauty, which usually sounds like "Sleeping Booty" and The Little Mermaid, which she likes to call "Ari-rel"

Because she watches them sooooo much she's starting using movie quotes in her daily conversation. My favorite is if she's frustrated and not getting something she wants, she'll lay her face in her hands and start very quietly crying, more like the weepy breathing sound. She'll then whisper, "Just go away".......

Maybe I've just seen the movie too recently, but does that scene sound familiar? Ariel after King Triton blows her "collection" to smithereens?....

Moving on to a new side of this topic, I admit, I've become lazy and let the TV babysit her. All. Day. It's really easy when she asks for it, bounces up and down while I'm putting in the DVD and then happily plops down on her stomach, chin in hands, to watch the whole thing intently.

I think it's moved from fun activity to a "must" in her day. Therefore, I have declared today "No Movie Day". Carrie has already asked to watch "Ari-rel" at least twice. I told her we can color, play puzzles, read books, play games, play the piano,...... Anything. As long as we don't turn on the TV. I hope I have the patience to make it last. Wish me luck.

Sweet Motherhood

2011-06-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight when I told Carrie it was time for bed, she wasn't happy with me. She whined, squirmed in my arms when I picked her up, and basically demonstrated the perfect example of a tired two year old.

I thought of something that might calm her down and asked if she wanted to see Brigham's horsey. It's the little rocking horse snow globe my grandma gave to us when Brigham died. When you turn the music box on, it plays "Hush Little Baby" while the horse slowly spins in a circle. I told her we'd listen to the horsey, but then it was time for bed.

While the music box was playing I was glancing around our "Brigham Wall" in our room that has some pictures, hand prints, a statue etc. in memory of him. I started to miss him terribly. But then I realized, it almost wasn't even like I was missing him, I just wanted to miss him. I feel like our time with him was so short that it's hard to remember much anymore. My live memories are fading fast. The things I remember when I think of him are only what I've seen in the pictures we took. And I hate it. It's feels like it was a wonderful, horrible dream....

When the music stopped playing, I took Carrie into bed and she asked me to lay by her. When I lay next to her in bed, I can see both her, and her picture of Brigham on her shelf at the same time. I started to silently cry. It wasn't silent for very long though.

When Carrie caught on that I was crying she asked, "Mommy, what happened?"

I told her, "I'm just sad. I miss baby Brigham"

And the perfect, amazing, sweet little angel she is, started patting my arm and saying, "It's ok Mommy, It's ok...."

Then came the part that made me smile through my tears. She said, "Here Mommy, you can have my B" I'm sure she was thinking, "This always makes me feel better when I'm sad"

It was a wonderful moment and it only got better when she rolled over, scooted into me so she was the little spoon, reached behind her until she found my arm, wrapped it around her and held my hand.

I don't think any other Mother has ever been so blessed. I have one angel in Heaven and one on Earth.

All By Herself!

2011-06-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

Another quick potty update (don't you love it?!)

This morning Carrie had a little #2 accident and we had just finished getting her cleaned up in the bathroom. Justin and I were getting ready for the day and Carrie ran back into the bathroom from our bedroom and announced, "I WENT PEE PEE!"

Immediately we both though, "Oh no.... time to go clean up another mess....."

So we asked her, "Ok... Where did you go pee pee?"

She ran into our bedroom and pointed to her little pink toddler potty that was sitting in the corner.

***SIGH OF RELIEF!!!***

She felt the need, found the pink potty, and went all by herself!! We were so proud! Since she can't climb up to the big potty on her own (I need to get some stepstools) I've made sure the pink potty has been close by throughout the day and she's gone a couple more times on her own. It's nice to see the "training" taking effect. Ahhh, the simple joys in life :)

Success, Finally!

2011-06-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

Potty Training is WELL under way!

The unofficial first time we tried was way back in November. Mostly just a test run to see if she might be ready before Brigham came. It didn't happen. And that was OK.

Then came the day after Valentines day. I thought, "Let's try this again." It lasted about a day and a half. With Carrie peeing through about 8 pairs of panties a day. She kind of got it, but not quite enough. And I didn't care enough to force it. So we waited again.

Off and on for the last several months Carrie has gone on the potty. But it's been as rare as once a week mostly. After this last weekend in New Mexico, where all her cousins were going on the potty, I decided to try it again.

And it clicked! Finally!

Monday I put her in panties and checked with/reminded her to go often. I seemed to always be catching it right at the right time and the day went very smoothly. Tuesday, my timing and her timing were off each other by about 10 minutes. All. Day. Long. It was awful! Every time I'd go to remind her, she would have just barely within the last couple of minutes peed her pants.

I felt set back, but tried to remind myself, it's only day two and she's still little. It's a process. She'll get it. We had a little potty training guide thingy that said, "Once you start, don't go back to diapers" (this made sense to me... until...) "even at bedtime."Uh oh.... that sounds messy...."

They made a good point though. Even though they're sleeping, they're still potty training. Still learning to recognize those muscles. So, We got a mattress protector and put her in panties to bed. I was scared. I had spare jammies and sheets ready and waiting. But I didn't have to use them! We took her potty right before she went to bed, then I took her when I randomly woke up at 2:45am and she stayed dry until morning!

As I'm thinking about it now, I think it was really good for her. She practiced using those muscles when she wasn't consciously thinking about it. When I checked on her in the middle of the night and she was dry, I was pleasantly suprised. I took her to the bathroom, set her on the toilet and whispered, "Ok Carrie, You're on the potty. You can go pee pee now." A few seconds later, she did! She whispered, "Mommy, I'm all done" and went straight back to sleep. She was unconsciously holding it and consciously letting it out. Which is exactly what the body does once it's fully potty trained.

And then Wednesday went off without a hitch! We went into town, saw a movie *Ramona and Beezus. Took me back to my childhood, it was great!*, and went to Hobby Lobby,where she had one teeny little half-accident, but I was prepared with a change of clothes. Other than that one little incident, she did fabulously! Today's been a little harder than yesterday, but overall I'm calling it a success. I've cleaned up a few accidents this week and the #2 thing is going to take a little more work than #1, but she's proving she's ready now and I'm feeling confident she'll have it down pat in no time! Our baby is turning into a big girl!

The Answer is "Pink"

2011-06-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter what the question is.

What color is that? -PINK
Where are you going? -PINK
Who is that? -PINK

Strangely enough, Carrie's obsession with pink is limited mostly to the word. She wears plenty of other colors, uses non-pink crayons, drinks from non-pink cups....

But the answer to any question lately is simply, "pink"

Unless the question is, "How old are you?" To which she answers, "I'm two sixteen!"..... Oy vei!